disappointment....

Well yesterday we went for what was a question and answer with Bethany which turned into what I didnt want to hear unfortunately.

The lady that we spoke to was very nice but the comments about lengths and adoptions just werent what I wanted to hear. Some info for those who are interested (again this is only for MS-some areas are probably very different)
-2 domestic adoptions this year (in 7 mths thats extremely low!)
-after our wait of 6-9 mths from our application date it can be anywhere from 1 to 3 years. I was in shock to hear the 3 year mark thats insane. I know its worst case scenario but still that would be close to 4 years...
-last year they had 20 adoptions total in the state
-they like to only have 20 families at a time for a birthmom to look at so thats why the wait is long to get in the class
-each class that meets starts out with 6-8 couples and ends up with 4-6 usually. Some decide adoption isnt for them she stated.
-last class they had was in April and they have another class in August (couples who applied in Jan, Feb, & Mar) so if thats the cycle we would start classes in Dec. (Misty we would probably be in the same class:)
-what birthmoms usually look for is: parents who have no kids, moms who will SAHM, if they have another kid they do not want it to be biological bc they think a parent might favor the biological kid
-lady did state that most of the families are in their mid 30's to early 40's. They rarely have couples who want to adopt that are in their 20's
-she recommended a few books for us to help us out during the wait period.

Im not sure at this point what we will do. It just really seems like it will be an eternity if we wait for Bethany here. Our pastor stated that usually people have to wait the 6-9 mths and the longest he has seen was 18 mths which would be over 2 years in total.

Im just beyond frustrated with everything and it seems like we will never get a kid especially two. Ive been doing lots of research about Russian adoption too and thats always a possibility too. If Im going to pay 25-35k for a kid we will definitely go to Russia rather than do domestic. Just considering everything.

6 comments:

Mandy Jo said...

Hey!! Don't give up hope! If God put you on this journey there is a reason! They told us it could years and our lil girl was born 32 days later! :) Keep your head up!!

Misty said...

wow so you still have to wait for the informational meeting as well? Well Dec doesn't seem to far away. I look at it this way, it will happen when it's time and yes I don't want to wait 3 months much less than 3 years but I have no control over that and if he wants me to wait 3 years than there is nothing I can do about that. If it was up to me I would have had a biological child 3 years ago when we started trying but for whatever reason that wasn't in his plan so I just keep on trucking along.
All you can do is pray about it and pray for his plan to be shown to you.

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

I'm very sorry sweetie.. it all sounds so fustrating. Don't give up hope though. Also want to say that I'm glad that you write about your experience with adoption so far... including your experience with "Bethany". Because I'm interested in adoption and "Bethany", and I'm also from MS.

Again just want to say.. not to give up hope.. I don't know why you are going through this. But I Believe that God has a plan for you:)

I'm praying for you!!!

HUGE HUGS,
Hannah

Kellie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy said...

Amber thank you so much for the comment on my blog. I would love to foloow along with your story. I like to read my newly discovered blogs from start to finish. It might take me a little bit.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds as though the information that you were just given is difficult to swallow.
Joy

G & H said...

We are using adopthelp and so far love them.... they do almost as many adoptions per year as they do new members....they are not cheap....but i think your paying for an average wait time of 6 months...