What a whirlwind today has been and not anything to what I expected it to be.

Yesterday I prayed to God to give me a clear sign if we were not to do this cycle and start the adoption process. Boy did he give me an answer that equaled to more pain than I could have ever imagined.

This morning around 1:30 I woke up in a little bit of pain, it continually got worst and worst as the morning moved on. I tried to numb the pain or make it better with hot baths, cold rags, pain medicine and none of it did a thing. A few hours later I woke Chad up and said its getting too intense I just cant fit it anymore.

We ended up in the ER room for nearly 3 hours. Ive had a kidney stone before and it was nothing like it. Started in my lower pelvic area, moved right above it. The other two times Ive had a kidney stone they have both started in my back and I was down on the floor in pain within seconds its the most intense pain you could honestly imagine. I also throw up which Ive also never done with a kidney stone which confused me even more.

They did all kinds of tests, CT scans and gave me a IV with fluids because everyone told me I was pale as a ghost and they were very worried I was going to pass out. After doing all the tests and urine sample it came back to a kidney stone. The doctor came in and told me all the possibles (ruptured cyst, ectopic pregnancy, kidney stone) it could be which just freaked me out (at this point I dont know how coherent I was of the amount of pain I was in but somehow I understood her). They gave me a morphine drip which took all the pain away so that was nice but made me loopy for about 9 hrs afterwards. I took a good long nap and I feel like a new person.

So there was no work today, no trip to Destin which is disappointing on the Destin trip but I know its all for the best just in case. we had talked about going down in the morning but I think we are just going to hang out here.

Of course this morning when I didnt show up to my appt at the RE the nurse contacted me to see what happened. Chad emailed her and told her and said we didnt need to go forward until my kidneys are 100%.

Lessons learned...
1) Gods plan is far more perfect than ours and I need to trust him because he has given all signs to adoption so we are going to move forward with that and cancel any fertility stuff.
2) I need to cut the sweet tea out or I will have more (didnt drink it for a while due to my last one, started back and got one...as much as I love sweet tea its not worth the pain!)

Today is a wonderful celebration of all the Mothers of the world including my own mother and grandmother. It should be a big celebration for us but unfortunately its a day of remembering that we are still waiting on our miracle.

Last night I went out to get an additional little gift for my mom and when I checked out the lady said "Hope you have a wonderful Mothers day". My heart just sunk as I heard those words knowing that the only mother I am is to our cute little pomeranian.

Last night after returning from the store I got this very sharp pain in my lower left side, I was almost in tears it hurt so bad. Not sure exactly what this means but maybe its good. Its a pain Ive never had through the months of TTC so maybe its a sign in the right direction. If anyone has had the same pain or knows anything about it please share your information because Im clueless.

Happy Mothers day to all of you mothers who are celebrating with your blessings from the Lord. I hope that next year we will be able to celebrate as well on this truly wonderful day.

Here is a wonderful verse that Tiffany Pifer posted, how true is this?....1 Peter 5:7 Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.