TTC-Adoption Blog

Newest Blog

2011-07-06T11:51:00.001-07:00

For anyone that still is a google reader on this blog just thought I would post that we have our newest blog that has our little girl Morgan who is now 13 mths old. Stop by and visit
http://wallacefamilyblog.wordpress.com/

New Blog

2009-09-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

For anyone who still wants to keep up with our journey I started a new blog
http://chadandamberwallace.blogspot.com/

Hope you will join us to meeting our miracle!

Its settling in....

2009-09-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you girls for all the wonderful comments Im just in amazement. I go back and think of all those days, nights when I either got a BFN or AF showed up and I wondered many nights if we would remain childless forever, it was so tough. I think all those hard times and lots of tears shed have really helped to show me to be patient and never give up on God because he sure never gives up on us.

I think the nausea (havent thrown up yet) and the absolute exhaustion have sure helped me to realize that maybe I really am pregnant and its not all in my head.

We have only told a few people and we are waiting until Im a little farther along to tell others. We told one of our friends today (we debated back and forth whether to tell or not but now Im glad I did) and their reaction was absolutely priceless. They know our road and our walk through. She told me to call her doctor (remember I dont have a regular OB-GYN been going to a RE) and she highly recommended her and said she is absolutely amazing for first time moms. I of course had so many questions for her and she is such a great friend to answer all my logical and probably dumb questions..haha! She just had her baby back in April so its all fresh on her mind too.

I researched how to get pg but being pg is just cluless so Im learning all this stuff. I ordered three books to hopefully help because I am clueless when it comes to pregnancy. The books are
1) Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy
2) What to Expect: Eating Well When You're Expecting
3) What to Expect When You're Expecting: 4th Edition

Are there any other books that anyone would recommend to get? Im trying to read all I can to figure this out I feel so far out in left field

Surprise!!

2009-09-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well post #100 will definitely be a memorable post...

14 months
18 cycles
+
5 mg Femara
+
progesterone cream (2X day)
=
one beautiful result
PREGNANT!

It was confirmed this morning by the doctor at 13 DPO-Day 29
31-progesterone
163-bhcg

First doctors appt-October 14 (my grandfathers birthday)

Due Date-June 3, 2010
Last day of school-May 25
Grandmothers birthday-June 4

God had a perfect plan, more perfect than I could ever imagine. I still cant believe my dream has became a reality, it really hasnt sunk in yet

Ready for Friday!

2009-09-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

This will mark post 99, next post will be 100!

Tomorrow is Friday the best day well maybe Saturday is better so we can sleep in. I have honestly had a great week. My mom has came around somehow. I called my dad (who is a good mediator) and maybe he talked some sense into her. We had a long talk yesterday afternoon for about 2 hrs. We will see how long things are good this time.

Tomorrow we head to Nashville, I absolutely cant wait. I love Nashville and miss it terribly. If we could take our jobs and our house we would move tomorrow, but of course thats not how life works. Im just hoping the rain holds off for the game Saturday night and maybe we can win, well see.

Boot Camp is still going good I love the feeling of it I must admit. I posted more over on my Weight Loss blog for anyone interested. Im hoping for a good weigh in tomorrow:)

This week has been kind of weird at school, a student who graduated last year shot himself over a girl and its just been a sad week. Please keep this family in your prayers, I can only imagine how tough it is for the parents but also the girlfriend too.

AF should be here Im guessing if its like every month Saturday (10 DPO) so well see if she stays away or not. If not, I know God has another plan for us.

Also if anyone is looking for recipes, Im trying to get my entire collection to it, so Im posting 1 to 2 per day new recipes.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-16T18:31:00.001-07:00

Pictures from the Auburn Game
Auburn

me and Chad

Me and my cousin

Great Weekend!

2009-09-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend was so much fun with my cousin and her family. We tailgated and well MSU did end up losing (not a big shock) and Auburn whipped our tail. It was so much fun just hanging out with my cousin, her hubby and her little girl who is precious. I have a few pictures but need to get them off my camera..haha!

Also, I never really knew what country my cousin was adopted from and I was asking her this weekend about it all and found out she was adopted from South Korea. We had kind of thought about this one as well for international adoption but thats about as far as its gone. I do think it would be kind of neat to have a baby that looks like my cousin and her little girl too. Well see where we go from there.

Im just waiting on AF to show up for now.

Today was boot camp day 1..you can read more about it on my WL blog (check the right hand side). It was tough to say the least.

Please say a little prayer for us with my mom. She has gotten beyond tolerable right now and I just dont know what to do anymore. Its amazing how she went from being excited about us having twins to being unbearable. Its just sad to be honest.

On another note we are heading to Nashville this weekend, one of my favorite cities (of course we used to live there so its more like home too) Maybe MSU can win, we will see. Its hard to cheer for the opponent though bc I used to work for Vanderbilt.

Wonderful Friday!

2009-09-11T14:40:00.001-07:00

Well this week was tough, rough you name it. Ive been staying until anywhere from 6-9 pm everynight and getting there super early too. There has been so much going on and trying to get everything perfect (yes Im very much a perfectionist). I feel like Ive had no life this week and am so glad this week is coming to a close and have everything done thank goodness. I think it should be illegal to have regular duty (before school) and football duty on the same day but thats just me:)

My reward for having such a tough week was an AWESOME Friday. My kids were so good, so engaged and we had fun. In two classes we started learning Photoshop (how can you really not like learning such a cool program) and my other class actually begged me to go back early from lunch-they were doing de.mon.stration speeches and got to bring food if thats what they demon.str.ated. They absolutely loved it and we really had a great time learning about new things, how to do it, and they really did wonderfully on their sp.eeches too!.

Then I got home and my little pup, Brownie seemed more excited than ever to welcome me home, she is so cute and fun.

Tomorrow morning we leave really early to head to the plains of Alabama (Auburn) to visit with my cousin and her family and to enjoy some football (or lets hope we enjoy it:) ). I cant wait! Then next weekend we head to Vanderbilt..yeah! Two fun filled weekends!

Happy birthday!

2009-09-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

Happy 30th birthday to my wonderful husband. I think he has been a little sad on turning 30 and I keep joking around with him that hes a lot older than me now since Im only 28..haha:) I fixed him his favorite meal that he asked for and we have just taken it easy.

Tomorrow starts back our women's bible study (only in the Fall and Spring) and Im looking forward to it. Its a great time with some wonderful Godly women.

Auburn cant get here soon enough..come on weekend! Im ready to leave now..haha:)

Great Weekend!

2009-09-07T17:59:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone has had a great weekend! We have had a wonderful weekend with tons of relaxing and sleeping in which has been much needed!

The Dawgs (MSU) won their game on Saturday. We have had some really bad seasons the last few years but we got a new coach this year (an assistant from Florida-Dan Mullen) and it was amazing to see so much excitement around campus! We left 5 hrs before the game and couldnt even find a parking place I was truly shocked.

Then we spent the rest of the weekend with Chads family which they are always great, so different from my family:) His grandmother made a fabulous coconut pound cake (added it to my recipes blog if you are interested) that was so amazing but so addicting..haha!

I cant wait for next weekend to get here....off to Auburn and to see my cousin and her family so excited next weekend cant get here soon enough!

Hebrews 11:1 -Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

3 day weekend!

2009-09-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

Im so excited that its a 3 day weekend, its MUCH needed! Those of you who are teachers understand it better than anyone does. The first month is so tough getting back into the habit of things so Labor day always comes in handy for sure, its a much anticipated holiday!

Tomorrow is MSU (Mississippi State University) plays JSU and should be lots of fun. We get to meet up with friends and Im sure Ill get to see my brother and his gf as well.

Then we head up to Chads family and spend some time with them. Ahh the love of Labor day and how Im really excited for this weekend, but those weekends we seem to look forward to the most seem to pass quicker than we can blink...haha!

For other things-we have decided to give adoption a rest and maybe one day we will get back into it but right now we are just letting our hearts heal. God has given me a wonderful peace about it all and I know that whatever is meant to happen will happen in Gods will.
"See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for He allows us to be called His children, and we really are!"
I John 3:1
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what He pleases." Philippians 2:13
Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

I just had to post this it was too cute:) What a rough life she has

1 week ago...

2009-09-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

1 week ago today was one of the happiest days of our lives only to end so quickly. I cant believe its really been a whole week. Now we know what it feels to be so excited but at the same time to feel so much at the bottom of the pit too.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

God has a plan...

2009-08-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

God has a really clear plan and while we dont know every piece of it, today made the whole situation with the BM about as clear as can be. The writing is all over the wall and it hurt to see how clear it was but we also realized that God knew how emotionally attached to the BM and these babies we had gotten. Im just glad gave us such a clear answer and now it all makes sense as hard as it is to swallow especially what all we have found out.

An email a friend sent to me, I need to frame this all over our house:)-To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

For our plans we are just going to sit back and see what road God has in store for us. All of this has really made us want to go with an agency. We are still in the cue with Bethany so well see. We have never had anything against Bethany they have been nothing but kind and generous its just the wait. We did talk to our pastor though and he said that no one has ever had to wait over 18 mths. They did tell us since we are younger we probably would be picked sooner bc most couples they get are anywhere from mid to late 30's, some even early 40's.

We seem to keep coming back to them time and time over. Maybe God is trying to teach us patience in all of this and to really rely on him for everything. We are going to pray that he will direct us on the path he wants us to go down and well see where that path goes.

In other news the next few weekends are pretty exciting and hopefully it will help take our minds off of everything:)

This weekend is the first college football game (MSU vs. JSU), then we are going up to see chads family and stay the weekend with them.
Chads 30th birthday is Sept. 8..hes getting old..haha!
next weekend is the trip to see my cousin, her little girl and hubby (MSU vs. Auburn)
then the next weekend is Nashville (MSU vs. Vanderbilt) and possibly go see Wicked if we can get tickets.

Yes we are big time football people (for MSU-dont confuse with University of MS better known as Ole Miss-thats our major rival and would be a major insult:)

Quotes/Verses

2009-08-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all the sweet comments, texts, and emails. So many people praying for us makes me feel incredibly blessed! I know one day we will be able to look back on things but right its just really tough.

I really do love searching for bible verses and quotes I have a TON. If anyone wants the list feel free to email me or leave a comment with your email and Ill be happy to email them to you. If enough people do want them Ill just post them here:)

I dont think I could ever really give up on my dream of being a mother but the past 16 or so months have been a real test, well see what God has in store for us.

Isaiah 40:31-but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.

Heartbroken....

2009-08-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

Well we found out this morning that the birthmother miscarried...
Our hopes, our dreams of kids..just shattered to the ground.

I dont understand why God would let this situation come along only to be let right down. I dont know what we will do next...maybe we just arent meant to have kids.....

Calling all MOMS!

2009-08-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

Chad & I are trying to put together a list of all these things we are going to need/want so I want to ask all those moms out there...
1) What do you now wish you had bought?
2) What made your life easier?
3) What do you wish you never bought?

Thanks for all the feedback!

Details, Details and more...

2009-08-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

Yes it is certain it is TWINS. I have had more emails, comments, text messages,phone calls from friends, family, people I dont even know with congrats, we are praying for you and just questions.

Im honestly just in awe of what God has put in our path for adoption. Never in my dreams would I be thinking that our journey to adoption would be TWINS (I keep saying this over and over in my mind I just cant believe it). I feel like we are living in this dream world and that Im going to wake up from this dream. I know that God lead us to this situation and it was in his plan. God made us experience more sadness and depression than I would wish on my worst enemy but he knew that we had to experience it so that when our perfect match came along we would be so over the moon excited and it would be that much more special!

So all the details that everyone is waiting for...

Yesterday Chad was overtalking to a distance co-worker that worked in the main office of the district. Well it came up that we were adopting and she said that her sister had just been contacted about a possible situation but she wasnt interested because they just couldnt afford it. Her sister and family were trying to find a match and she pretty much knew that whoever they recommended she would chose.

Well co-worker's mom calls BM and says she is very interested and wanted our number to talk to us. Well Chad talked to her, we talked to her several times. She said to us she wanted us to have her babies (still cant get it out of my head..not one but two!) as long as we dont homeschool them (of course we are both work in public school that are very good).

Then one thing lead to another and we were talking attorney so she could have peace of mind about us not leaving her (oh if she only knew 1000%+) but she wanted a guarantee. We are in the process of getting everything signed and all legalities now with everything.

Quick details:

-Birthmother is due April 7-8, 2010 so she is about 8 wks along
-she lives 3 hrs from us
-she is 17 yrs old
-doesnt have much to do with parents, especially mother. She found out recently that her dad has been diagnosed with cancer and has been given a year to live.
-she will be 18 Nov. 26
-TWINS!
-this is her SECOND, yes SECOND set of twins, first was at the age of 15
-first set were two girls
-birthfather wants to have nothing to do with the babies, he moved to CA and has given her all rights (different father from the 1st set)
-found an attorney and we are in the process of drawing up a contract and getting lots of legal help
-she wants 100% private adoption with pictures occasionally of the children
-will meet with her in the next week or so, probably will be through the week since she works most weekends and we will hopefully have all contracts drawn up

-she has an ultrasound on Thursday and has invited us to come along, not sure if we will or not.
-found out that you can legally in MS have a contract before the birth but she can of course still change her mind up until 10 days after birth
-my parents who if you remember didnt like the idea of our adoption have somehow now turned to the really excited cant wait stage. My mom has asked so many times already so when do we get to go shopping. Never did I

think I would hear that from my mom quite frankly.

-we will not do anything nurserywise until we find out what it is (about 8-10 weeks)
-she has spoken with her father about things and he is supportive of it

-timing could not be any more perfect-I can take the remainder of the year off (6-8 wks depending on when they are born) and then the rest of the summer. Then we will probably do half daycare/half parents which they would be around 4 mths old.

A great verse to carry us through this long 7 mths. I know that God led us to this mother for a reason, it was not an accident by any means. If its in his will it will work out

2 Chronicles 20:15
Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but Gods.

We are having TWINS!

2009-08-26T15:25:00.000-07:00

Yes you really did read that right...TWINS! We have been talking to young BM from MS that is having TWINS several times today over the phone. Shes committed to us and attorneys are involved. Don't know what else to say. We are extremely excited! Life will be changing in 2010 for sure.

Please pray for the BM and also for us. We still have a long way to go so anything can happen but for now things are good. Its amazing how one day can change so much!

Twins..wow...Im in amazement..God is amazing! I know everyone kept telling us as many times as we have been kicked in the gut and gone through more heartache and disappointment than I ever imagined..God does have a perfect plan...just a reminder
Matthew 21:22
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.

ADDED...
Due Date-April 7 or 8 ( 8 weeks)-some may think Im crazy for being so excited so early but for a BM to ask for a legal contract she wants to look no more?? Ill let God handle it, its in his hands now, not ours:) he is in control and he has a perfect plan. This maybe the longest 7 mths of our lives but I know he is in control!

Edited to Add-
If anyone has any questions please ask and Ill answer them all at once:)

Thank You

2009-08-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

I just want to say a big thank you to all of you who have took the time to comment, you really dont know how much your comments really do help:) So please keep them coming:) Also a big thank you to those of you that I didnt know were reading along and stopped by to comment. It always helps to know how much support you have:)

This has been the hardest thing I think we have ever been to, its like the biggest emotional rollercoaster we have ever been on. We have both said it that we would rather have not been contacted at all then to have the contacts we got and the way it ended.

We have also gone and back forth on lots of options. Im just really beginning to feel like Im in this big competition with all these women at CA and its not what I want at all and I think thats made it that much tougher too. Am I the only one that feels this way?

A girl that I work with had a close friend of hers that TTC for 5 years, finally got pg only to go into labor at 24 wks. She ended up delivering the baby and the baby survived for 12 days and passed away today so please keep this family in your prayers, I couldnt even imagine the pain that family is experiencing. My heart just breaks for them.

In other news, my brother has the swine flu Im coming down with something that Im really not sure but feel terrible but at least I have HGTV to keep me company:)

Emotional Rollercoaster

2009-08-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

The past oh 48-72 hrs have been I think by far the most emotional I feel like Ive ever been through. Yes TTC is tough but wow adoption its a totally new ballgame.

Yesterday-I went to the grocery store yesterday and saw a friends mom who I had not spoken to in years. Whats the first thing she says...anyone want to take a guess?? If you guessed children you are right. She says oh how many kids do you have now? I said none. She said oh so you dont want any? I said no God has not blessed us with any yet. Oh then it gets better...her daughter..girl I was friends with years ago is pg and is due in January. She went on and on about her, her pg just everything to go along with it.

Well like that wasn't enough..today a co-worker announces the great pg....not like one isn't enough lets get another one in there.

Then we get stabbed not once but twice I feel like with adoption..once for religion, the other because well who knows she wont respond..what did we say..why? Why?

Does life ever get any easier? Why do we have to experience such heartache and why can everyone around us have a baby/get pg except us? I have lost my appetite like I never imagined I could seriously go days and days without eating and I don't think it would bother me. Ive just really let everything get to me B-I-G time.

Today has been a really, really long day I just got home about an hour ago (at like yes 9 pm and got there this am at 7 am) so I think I just need to go to sleep and maybe my emotions will be better.

Contact 2

2009-08-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

Just a little update on BM 2
We talked to her a few times on Friday and we asked for US pics and all the sudden contact stopped. We really dont know what happened quite frankly but she contacted 5 other couples and none have heard back from her since Friday. Im kind of putting it behind me and saying this one is over with.

Today has been a great day with church and lots of church friends. Our pastor had a great sermon and we had a wonderful Sunday School service as well. We were challenged to spend more time in the word and in prayer. Its something Ive really been trying to do more. Its definitely a tough thing to do when you seem so busy but I know that with this time that it will help me to be closer to God. It really has shown me why we go to the church we go to and it makes me feel very blessed for so many wonderful people to be praying for us during this time.

I feel like Ive already been on a emotional rollercoaster and Ive just started the process. I know it will all be worth it in the long run but right now its so hard not to get so excited over any contact. I know one of these contacts will work out for us when God sends us the perfect BM.

Contact #2

2009-08-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

We got another contact from a birthmother who is 4 mths along! This is all so interesting and exciting!

A little more info:

BM is up north (not within driving distance at all)
She has 2 due dates (Feb. 8 & Feb. 11) and of course my bday is Feb. 11:)
she wants to be a secondary teacher like me:)
its a boy

Possibility??

2009-08-20T18:59:00.001-07:00

Well tonight Chad was talking to a friend on Facebook that he graduated with that adopted a little girl who is absolutely ADORABLE! Well we have been talking to her about adoption and she seems to know lots of people.

She doesnt really keep in contact with the BM just due to some things that happened. Well she found out through the grapevine today that the BM is pg again (this will be her 6th..yes 6th child and she is only 23..wow) and is giving this one up for adoption. She said all this mother wants is $. We asked how much and she (girl chad graduated with) said a few hundred, groceries, etc....are you kidding me..thats it?? She said the most expensive part to them was they wanted to make sure this girl was clean of drugs the last month so they put her up in a hotel and paid for all necessities.

She gave up another one for adoption last year (she has had the past few in Sept) and that family still talks to her (BM) and then the girl chad graduated with talks to that family (anyone confused?!) and thats how she found out. Supposedly she is due in late Sept/early October she thought.

The scary part?? She has not been to the doctor yet and is that far along. She (girl Chad graduated with) said everyone of her babies have tested + for some type of drug. Scary? Yes but I know that they can also be weened off it too.

This girl keeps getting pg so she doesnt have to go to jail and is in this for the $, gets pg, gives up a child gets some $. I just couldnt imagine. Just a sad, sad situation.

Supposedly we are going to get in contact with her and see if she has already picked a family or not. The BM lives really close to Chads family in AL. Please say a little prayer for us and that if its God's will that he will show us the way, and if not he will show us the right situation.

Birthmother=not a match

2009-08-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

Before I start out I just have this sense of frustration. So we emailed a few times with the birth family and then it was like as soon as we said we were not non-denomination she wanted to have nothing to do with us. I was pretty sure we would have contacts some of which didnt work out but never in a million years did I think it would be over religion. She pretty much said she was looking for someone that was non-denomination.

I will learn to accept it and know that God has another situation waiting for us but its just disheartening to hear that the reason you wont get picked is because of your religion which is Presbyterian (PCA) and not non-denomination.

We havent heard from the family all day today and I doubt we will. I just pray for God to show us the perfect situation and the perfect family in Gods perfect timing.

First Contact = 10 days

2009-08-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well today marks our first contact we have had with a birthmother family. The birthmom is due in Spring of next year. We are still learning about the situation and there is still lots we dont know at this point and time.

If you could please say a little prayer for us that if this is Gods will then it will happen and if not then he will show us the perfect situation in his timing and not allow us to get too attached to the situation.

Adoption Questions Answered...

2009-08-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

Some questions have come from emails, blog comments, and some have been asked by family and friends and thought I would add those in as well:)
CA=Christian Adoption
Are you already up for consideration? I thought there was a slight wait? Yep we are already up for consideration as of 7 days ago:) We had to wait a few days before going up online (a few days)
Do you have to do a life book? nope
Are you excited to be with CA? Yep its really a great group of people
Whats the average waiting time with CA? 3-10 mths
Whats the average cost with CA? 5-12k
How did you find CA? Kellie from Life and Adoption told me about CA after I guess I sensed some great frustration in our path towards adoption and I will forever be grateful for her decision to tell us:)
Are there any blogs of people who have adopted or are in the process from CA? Yes...
1) Kellie from Life and Adoption has just started the process just like us,
2) Mindy and Jonathan from Bartling Miracles have adopted one little boy from CA and are now on the waiting list for another
3) Warren and Tamla from Our Adoption Journey ...adopted a child
4) Patrick & Tracy from Too Blessed to be Stressed....adopted a child
Will you have to do another home study since you already completed one? Yes we will have to complete another one because the SW who did it did not have a MSW so it will not be honored
How did you get started on the journey of adoption? Chad & I always knew that we wanted to adopt at least one child but we thought we would have one then adopt one but God had other plans for us. We first filled out our application through our state to adopt and went through the 15 hrs of classes that it took and were very disappointed with how things went but still went on with. During our time of wait we filled out our application with Bethany Christian Services and were told we would have to wait 6-9 mths before we would even be in our initial class and then after that it would be another 1-3 years totaling at least close to 2 years and up to 4 years.
How does CA work? You have to pay a $2500 fee to be listed online and you have to write a dear birthmother letter. Once you complete that it takes a few days to be listed on the site and after that point and time you could get a call from a birthmother at any point and time. You list your own phone # (we got a 1-800) and also your email address so they could literally call you at any point of the day. CA is almost like a facilitator for private/independent adoptions. For adoption agencies and attornies they are not allowed to ask their client if they are a christian unless they are a christian agency (its against the law big time) so if an attorney or agency has a birthmother that wants to have a christian family then they turn to a place like Christian Adoption to find a home for their precious child. The lady who runs CA helps you along the way if you have questions, need help, etc.
Is CA an agency? No they are not an agency
Why domestic over international adoption? We are not against international by any means and hope to do an international adoption through Russia after our first adoption which hopefully will be in a few years.
How old is the oldest child you would take? we have said that 2 years old would be the oldest child we are comfortable with but of course would love a newborn as well.
Are you planning on doing a nursery before you get a call? No we will not do anything with a nursery until we are matched
Is there any guarantee with CA? No there is no guarantee but they do have a great success rate:) The fee that you pay you can be on for 2 years, after that you have to pay an additional fee
How do you feel about an open adoption? I am open to one just depends on the birthmother in all honesty. If that is what the birthmother wants then of course we would definitely do it.
Do you think you will ever have a child on your own? it depends on what is in Gods will, we are ok with adopting all our children and not having one on our own. We will see what God has in store for us:)

I think Ive answered everything:) If anyone has another questions that something from here sparks please email me at amberwallace03@gmail.com or leave a comment and Ill add it to the list!

Blog Awards

2009-08-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

I just want to say a big thank you to all of you girls that have nominated me for blog awards..I feel very honored! Its been a crazy, hectic week but it always is the first week of school.

Check back tomorrow for a round of FAQ's about adoption and our situation and if you have one that you would like to see added please send me an email at amberwallace03@gmail.com or leave a comment

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Award #1-One Lovely Blog Award
Ive been so lucky to be awarded this not once but twice by two fabulous ladies! Thanks to Breen over at Chapman Journey to a baby & Mrs. Hammer at Expect Miracles

Rules: Accept the award; post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his/her blog link. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
1) Plaid with Polka Dots
2) Life and Adoption
3) Our Road to Reagan
4) Our Story
5) Curran Adoption Journey
6) Kellys Korner
7) Life {Sweet} Life
8) Making our House a Home
9) Bartling Miracles
10) More Than Dog Children
11) The R House
12) Heart Cries
13) Stuart and Sarah Creamer
14) Fong Family Adoption
15) One Step at a Time
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Award #2-Your Blog is fabulous
Thank you Kellie for giving me my award! And thank you for thinking my blog is fabulous!

The rules for this award are as follows:
1) List five current obsessions
2) Pass the award on to five fabulous blogs

Five current obsessions:
1. Cooking. Love to find new recipes and love to try new things. Maybe thats why I started the cooking blog..haha!

2. Adoption. I find myself looking at lots of things with adoption to see how long it takes and just to find out anything new about it. Cant wait for our bundle of joy to arrive!

3. Planning classes..as silly as it sounds its soo very true! I love my classes and couldnt imagine doing anything else. I learn so much from my kids and doing research online I just love it. I love to find out new things in the technology world and new things I can teach my kids. I get paid to have fun..haha:)

4. Facebook. Yes I so agree with you Kellie:) I seem to be on facebook when I get home and its so addicting. Everyone that I know seems to be on it now.

5. Digital Scrapbooking. I absolutely love scrapbooking I dont seem to have enough time to do it but its so much fun. I love to find new kits, alphabets, etc and the free ones are really great:)

5 Fabulous Blogs:
1. In Its Time-always amazed how she stays so positive about things and it seems like just when Im having a rough day I can always pop in and she seems to have a message that always touches me so thanks!
2. Journey to a "wondraful baby" we just seem to have so much in common its almost scary..haha! Great person and cant wait to share in our adoption journey together!
3. The Borg's Blog-love how honest she is in all her posts and just a wonderful blessing to see God in work in such a wonderful way with her 2 beautiful adopted children!
4. Our Journey of Love-what a wonderful christian family who has been through so much but is about to adopt their 2nd precious child.
5. God's Faithfulness through infertility - a beautiful story of Gods perfect plan

Start to the school year

2009-08-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

What a whirlwind of 2 days it has been! Well as most of you know Im a high school computer teacher and with that comes computers (21 + mine to be exact). Well the logins for all my students to login has not worked for their particular login, then on top of that I find out that I havent been moved over to the new server....oh yes my life has been quite the hectic place lately.

I have survived somehow..there is a lot more to to the story but thats the short version of it:) Ive been so upset at the particular dept it took 4 days to come out, they came out and stuff still isnt fixed and they told me I have to create a WO to get the rest fixed. Its a good thing I had a class or I might have strangled the tech. So they have to come back out to get it done.

I still have 7 of my 21 that dont work so I have to wing it with teaching until they get taken care of. I really dont know what Im going to do with them tomorrow. I mean the first day was fine I had enough for them to do but the 2nd day is getting into the hard part especially with block classes.

Ok did any of that stuff just make any sense..haha! I think Im just babbling now...

Some funny/dumb blonde things from my kids the past 2 days Ill share
-you listen to Dave Matthews, my parents listen to them (we all said what our fav musician/band was)
-you worked at vanderbilt..like the fancy school..haha
-did you get shot at your old school (it was in a bad area of town)..I had to state I am here arent I..haha
-what does compose an email mean..yes really they did say it
-what is economics (state its pretty much banking, finance, etc and they had no clue what that was..wow!)
-do people at vanderbilt smoke that green you know bad stuff

I think thats all I can think of for now..I know theres more but my brain is kind of dead right now.

No news really on anything to do with adoption, its been a crazy/hectic start to the week hopefully it will get better. I really think Im going to enjoy my kids this year

Then I had one of my students say that they are pg and are finding out if its a boy or girl tomorrow. Um this makes my frustration rise. Kids in high school having kids and we cant even have one. Really Im ok with it but its like when you think you are ok you get hit with a brick like this. Then another one of my friends announced her pg on facebook..its her 4th..yeah cant I just have one?!

Adoption Questions

2009-08-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

I have gotten so many questions regarding adoption and our information. If you have a question about anything to do with adoption or our personal situation (how we got here, why adoption, etc) please leave a comment or send me an email at amberwallace03@gmail.com and this week Ill compile all of them and post them all at once!
Thank you girls for all the sweet comments Im just in amazement of them all and how great things have turned out:) I cant wait to get the call for our baby!

For anyone that missed the last post we got put up almost 24 hrs from now..yeah!!

We are ONLINE!

2009-08-08T06:29:00.001-07:00

We got up online last night so exciting! There are a few things that need to be changed but hopefully we will get those changed ASAP!

http://www.christianadoption.com/sample809/chadamber.htm

Exhausted...

2009-08-06T19:17:00.001-07:00

What a day today has been. This morning with our school we went to the ropes course. Now keep in mind Im the girl that had no physical anything and plays/played no sports so the ropes course put a big huge "red flag" saying Im going to make a fool out of myself in front of all these other teachers whom Ive just met since I swtiched schools this year.

Well I survived the low ropes course and our group did so well I decided to be brave and try the high ropes course-brave yeah or maybe peer pressure. I climbed a 30 ft rock wall and did the zip line jumping off of 30 ft high. Can I just say how tough climbing a 30 ft rock wall was I feel like my arms are now jello! I dont think Ive ever drank so much water so quickly afterwards-I think I drank 3 16.9 oz bottles in like a record oh maybe 30 minutes. I think I did earn my exercise for today and will be paying for it tomorrow..haha!

Then got back to my room, and finally decided to tackle it and its a living nightmare. The girl that I took over for didnt leave on good terms and left the room in such a mess its ridiculous! There are 3 other teachers + me in my particular area and they have offered to help me out tomorrow because its so bad. Im lucky to have such wonderful people that are willing to help me out so greatly. At my old school you would have never seen that happen!

I just feel so overwhelmed right now (always do this time of year) and am trying to just breath right now and survive and kids come back Monday. There are so many little things that no one told me about with setting up all the lab computers (since I teach computer) and its just really got me stressing out...why didnt someone tell me this earlier so I could do it??? Chads almost entire family is coming down this weekend to visit I dont know what I was thinking by agreeing to this. I know we will have fun but the weekend before school starts back..eeks! I keep telling myself I will survive...I will survive...can someone please remind me of this?!

In other news...I was talking to a co-worker and somehow we got on the topic of kids and anyway she was saying that her and her husband TTC for 7 years and were told they would never have kids. They now have 3 kids (all singles) and she said they proved the doctors wrong! It gave me a bit of hope that maybe one day!

Adoption News..heard from the lady at CA and our profile will be up no later than tomorrow night by midnight I cant wait to see it! Yeah...yeah!

So all in all it was a crazy day...short recap
1) High and low ropes course..was fun!
2) stressful day with school and everything that has to be done BEFORE Monday!
3) Hope from a fellow co-worker
4) Adoption News---on by tomorrow night at midnight..yeah!

Officially Submitted to CA!!!!!

2009-08-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

We officially submitted everything to Christian Adoption and now we are just waiting for it to be put up on the web..so exciting! We got our picture back from our friend photographer and it really turned out great. Ill post our profile once it gets up. It seems as though the word is getting out about this place as they have had 4 couples up in a little over a week..amazing!

Christian Adoption (CA) is a wonderful ministry and I cant wait to adopt our precious child and meet them!

So very confused....

2009-08-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

So AF is really confusing the absolute living daylights out of me...So almost a week ago I started off pretty heavy but it was brown blood not red...well ever since then Ive had spotting to almost non existent days. Im so confused on what is up...When I went to the ER with the kidney stone they took a pg test and it was negative but Ive never gone this long with having pretty much a non existent cycle what is up?? Anyone ever had this happen?

Fong Family Donation

2009-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

Courtney from www.fongfamilyadoption.org has emailed me the following message:

Our garage sale is over but we do have several unsold items to pass on to another family who also plans to raise money for their adoption. I know your blog gets a lot of traffic so would you mind posting an announcement about this on your blog some time? We would love to help another Chicago-area family out.

If you are in the Chicago-area or know someone that is please drop by her blog at www.fongfamilyadoption.org. Thanks Courtney for the gracious offer!

Recipe Blog

2009-08-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

Anyone else obsessed with recipes? Yes Im very guilty so I finally started a recipe blog with lots of sites if you are interested. If you have any sites Ive missed please share or if you have a recipe you want to be added just send me an email or leave a comment:)
http://ambers-recipes.blogspot.com/

Im finally feeling back to normal now thank goodness and I think I passed the kidney stone too..yeah! Now its back to working full days tomorrow. One week from tomorrow the kids come back..wow this week is going to go by so quickly so much to do. As soon as we get the picture back from our friend we are going to submit everything to CA so exciting!

Kidney stone + ER = no trip to Destin

2009-07-31T20:28:00.001-07:00

What a whirlwind today has been and not anything to what I expected it to be.

Yesterday I prayed to God to give me a clear sign if we were not to do this cycle and start the adoption process. Boy did he give me an answer that equaled to more pain than I could have ever imagined.

This morning around 1:30 I woke up in a little bit of pain, it continually got worst and worst as the morning moved on. I tried to numb the pain or make it better with hot baths, cold rags, pain medicine and none of it did a thing. A few hours later I woke Chad up and said its getting too intense I just cant fit it anymore.

We ended up in the ER room for nearly 3 hours. Ive had a kidney stone before and it was nothing like it. Started in my lower pelvic area, moved right above it. The other two times Ive had a kidney stone they have both started in my back and I was down on the floor in pain within seconds its the most intense pain you could honestly imagine. I also throw up which Ive also never done with a kidney stone which confused me even more.

They did all kinds of tests, CT scans and gave me a IV with fluids because everyone told me I was pale as a ghost and they were very worried I was going to pass out. After doing all the tests and urine sample it came back to a kidney stone. The doctor came in and told me all the possibles (ruptured cyst, ectopic pregnancy, kidney stone) it could be which just freaked me out (at this point I dont know how coherent I was of the amount of pain I was in but somehow I understood her). They gave me a morphine drip which took all the pain away so that was nice but made me loopy for about 9 hrs afterwards. I took a good long nap and I feel like a new person.

So there was no work today, no trip to Destin which is disappointing on the Destin trip but I know its all for the best just in case. we had talked about going down in the morning but I think we are just going to hang out here.

Of course this morning when I didnt show up to my appt at the RE the nurse contacted me to see what happened. Chad emailed her and told her and said we didnt need to go forward until my kidneys are 100%.

Lessons learned...
1) Gods plan is far more perfect than ours and I need to trust him because he has given all signs to adoption so we are going to move forward with that and cancel any fertility stuff.
2) I need to cut the sweet tea out or I will have more (didnt drink it for a while due to my last one, started back and got one...as much as I love sweet tea its not worth the pain!)

Destin tomorrow!

2009-07-30T18:56:00.001-07:00

Ok after a rough two days I think Destin is sounding better and better:) After my day at work (little over half day) we are heading down there..cant wait!

Please say a little prayer for our dear friends who are having their wedding on the beach on saturday. The weather is saying all rain and I couldnt imagine paying the amount they have to have an indoor wedding so I hope and pray the rain will hold off for them.

We are staying with one of my good friends who I have been friends with for over 20 years. She has two little kiddos who are absolutely precious I cant wait to see them! I know we will have lots of fun we always do and she just got her first house and I know she is so excited so I cant wait to see it:)

Spoke with my RE and I always had in my mind if this cycle didnt work we were done..I mean we have tried just about everything and nothing has worked. Well maybe God had another plan...
Ive been trying to get all the doctors who I have been too in the past 15 mths to put me on some type of progesterone supplement since my luteal phase is so short. They all think that fertility drugs (clomid preferably) has been the answer not progesterone supplements. I know some of you dont think its that big of a deal but my RE.....F-I-N-A-L-L-Y is going to give me a prescription for vaginal supplements. Maybe this isnt a big deal to anyone else but its a huge deal to me. Do you know how long I have waited to even have a true shot of getting pg...we will see what happens...so I say if this doesnt work out we are done..over and moving on to fully adoption. Then I know we have tried everything and God has a different route for us.

Plan of Action this month..final month...
1) Go in tomorrow morning (too early-since work starts back tomorrow) to get my FSH and prolactin levels tested again. Not sure when I will get my results back. Ive been on cabergoline since March due to a very elevated prolactin
2) increase dose of Femara to 5 mg
3) ultrasound on day 14 (Aug. 12-my brothers birthday) and do an HCG shot
4) vaginal progesterone supplement that will start the day I go in for ultrasound (so excited about this step!)

Anyone had a vaginal progesterone supplement so I know what to expect?? Any side effects, etc.??

we are going to start working on our dear birthmother letter this month and if it doesnt work Im really ok with it but I guess I just want to know Ive given it my all that Im willing to try.

Less than 24 hrs we will be in Destin!!! Have a great weekend!

Frustrated...

2009-07-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

So this morning came my worst enemy...AF...making it one of my shortest luteal phases. My doctor that the HCG shot would lengthen my luteal phase but its only shortened it.

Im just frustrated that my body seems to cooperate and do fine until that 8-10 DPO and it cant be normal. No doctor has really ever been able to solve the problem of lengthening my luteal phase. Well I should take that back my first OB-GYN put me on Clomid which allowed it to go from 5 DPO to 9 DPO and its really never been longer. No doctor can make it longer than 9 DPO...

Its almost like this is a no brainer and I would think would be able to be fixed without much but it doesnt seem to be that easy I guess.

Then to make it better my cycle days are getting shorter too..
This cycle was only 24 days..I mean really cant I catch a break..at least let me go 28 days so I at least dont have to see you so often...
last month was 23 days....
26 days month before

I would rather ovulate later and have a longer cycle then O sooner. Im just frustrated and feel like pulling out my hair because its like the issue really has never been resolved.

Ive been taking B6-200mg for the past 2 mths (2 of my shortest cycles) which is supposed to lengthen my luteal phase and its only shortened my cycle days. No more B6 thats for sure.

I mean couldnt AF hold off until after we got back from Destin...guess that would have been too much to ask for...

Anyone who has dealt with a short luteal phase have any suggestions??

When it rains it pours..right?

2009-07-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

It just seemed like today was not my day or maybe God was just trying to give us a clear path.

1)Got my progesterone back and it was only 8.2 at 8 DPO.
I never in a million years expected it to be that low. I mean even the nurse said my doctor didnt even quite understand. I mean my follicle sizes grew great, I got a HCG shot, my progesterone with clomid has been great why so low? My heart just sunk and yes tears begun. No one can seem to understand my body. I respond fine to any type of meds, my progesterone has always been high so why cant we have a child?? I have never been tested at 8DPO its been anywhere from 3 DPO to 7 DPO. Is that one day mean something? Im clueless...
I think God was just trying to give me a clear answer that adoption is for us but I must admit my heart has not sunk over news like this in a while.

2) My parents were supposed to keep our little puppy Brownie this weekend they always do. Well my mom texts me (cant even call me) and says that I need to make other arrangements for Brownie that they arent keeping her. Pissed was an understatement because now I have to get additional shots for her, spend more at a boarding place because everyone was booked due to everyone making one last vacation before school starts that cost us over double the price it should have...this is just one more addition of my parents and the book I need to write on their crap. She has known about this for a while why wait until a few days before we leave to say anything?? Dont worry she wont be keeping her anymore if we go somewhere we will be booking her at the place that everyone recommends around here but of course she couldnt get in because they were already booked. Oh then lets add that I cant pick my poor puppy up on Sunday I have to wait until Monday to get her....

3) Then to end the day..Chads Explorer died and went up into smoke..his Explorer is not even that old either. He had to get it towed so we are hoping its nothing too major

Maybe just maybe something can go right...ugh what a frustrating day...

International Adoption Meeting

2009-07-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to a local International Adoption Meeting and came to the conclusion that obviously I have done a ton of research and knew most things that were told which I must admit made me feel good that my research really is paying off.

Things that I learned/some that I knew
-Hong Kong only does special needs kids
-top 2 countries are China and Russia
-China has a 4 year waiting period. Why? They only allow one child per family member and do not have enough workers there to get the paperwork completed
-some countries require a long time to travel (Kazakhstan-6 to 7 wks, Ukraine-7 to 8 wks, Colombia-6 to 8 wks)
-Soouth Korea has only 5 states in the US that will allow you to adopt a healthy, normal child, the other 45 states have to adopt a child with special needs
-Haiti likes to adopt only Christian families but require parents to be 30 yrs and will not budge on it
-most countries have very limited info about the child and birthparents and you have to accept it.

Process for International Adoption...could be a little different through different agencies
1) Information Meeting
2) Pre-Application
3) Formal contract & Application
4) Immigration Process
5)Home Study (2-3 mths)
6) Dossier
7) Referral
8) Travel
9)Post-Placement Reports (Russia requires 5 visits over a 2 year period)
10) Citizenship

went in for my progesterone test this morning and should know something by this afternoon sometime...
-adoptions arent final until 6 mths after you return home (could be different in other states)
-most countries will not allow you to adopt another child without a year between the kids

Busy week

2009-07-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

This week is quite a week but I love staying busy I must admit also

Last night we went to go take our professional pictures with our dear friend. Well it looked like it was fixing to storm but it was the only night either one of us didnt have something going on. Well I prayed really hard to please Lord just let the rain hold off until we get a few pictures so we will have one for our profile if you want us to adopt. Well wouldnt you know it the rain held off and just about the time our friend put his camera up it started raining. God is good and gave us a clear sign of adoption. The rain held off and we got some great pictures I think. Just waiting to see the final pictures!

Tonight is the International Adoption meeting to see if we are interested or not and get some more info

Wednesday is getting my progesterone tested to see if we even have a chance of being pg. I would be excited of course if we were, but if not we are going to go forward with CA and get things ready for it.

Thursday-have to take Brownie to get her yearly shots

Friday-start back with school, have a shorter day and orientation and all that fun stuff.

After the training and all that jazz we are heading to Destin for the weekend I cant wait! One of our good friends is getting married this weekend. I just hope the rain holds off for them because according to the weather its supposed to rain all weekend long.

Well thats our crazy week for ya. Next week is the start back to school in full for teachers, then the following Monday (Aug. 10) kids come back..my summer is slowly coming to a stop. Im ready to go back but then again I kind of will miss sleeping in too so its a bittersweet moment...

Russian Adoption Blogs & Information

2009-07-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

This is a list that I have compiled over the past few weeks. Not sure how many are considering Russian Adoption but if so here is a list of people that are going through the process/have already adopted. Some information was on blogs and some was not listed. I have also listed a link to this post on the side for anyone who wants to go back at a later date. If you have anyone that I have missed please leave a comment and I will get them added.
Also information on how it all works.

Common Abbreviations

CSS= Catholic Social Services
171H= Official permission to bring child/children into the country. NOTHING happens until this paper is in your hot little hand, Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition
I 600A= Form requesting permission for us to bring a child/children into the country to adopt and become a citizen, Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition
MOE = Ministry of Education (in Russia)
PAP= Potential Adoptive Parent
CHI=Children's Hope International
IA= International Adoption
Paper Chase - Collecting documents needed for the HS, Dossier, I600A and I171H
HS - Home Study
SW - Social Worker (person doing our HS)
Dossier - Legal documents requested by Russia (birth certs, home study, background checks, marriage license, financial statement, photos, and MUCH more!)
Apostille - Legalization of a document for international use
USCIS - US Citizenship & Immigration Services

Info

How does the Russian adoption process work?
There are several phases to the adoption process. This is a much simplified summary. I'll break these down into Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, waiting, travel, paperwork, travel and paperwork.

Application to adoption agency - Send an application to adoption agency. This states the basic facts to ensure you are eligible to adopt in a specific country.

Home Study - The home study can be one by the adoption agency if it licensed in your state. You can use a local agency to complete this if your agency in not licensed there. The home study includes several interviews and an inspection of our home. The social worker will create a report to be included in the dossier.

Dossier - The dossier is the package of documents that goes to Russia. This includes the home study and various other letters and document that need to be notarized and apostilled. It is then sent to Russia to be translated and then you are assigned a particular region in Russia where you wait for a referral.

Referral - After the dossier is submitted to Russia, you wait for a child to be assigned to you. The child is assigned based on your request and the child's needs. This is the longest part of the adoption process and can take up to 18 months as of now. Once you receive the referral you will receive a picture and brief medical report. You will have the opportunity to reject the referral if the child has any issues that you could not properly take care of.

Travel, Trip 1 - Once you accept your referral you will arrange for your first trip to Russia. This is a short trip of 6-8 days where you meet the child and request a court date in Russia for the official adoption.

Waiting for Court Date - When you get back to the U.S. you will have to update any dossier documents and get new medical exams. Once a court date is assigned you will arrange travel for the second trip.

Travel, Trip 2 - Trip two will last approximately 3-4 weeks. You will go to meet the child and appear before the Russian court stating your case for adoption. If approved there is a ten-day waiting period and then you can finally pick up your child for good! You then travel to Moscow to have an appointment at the embassy to finalize any citizenship paperwork.

Arrive home, post-placement reports - You will have periodic visits by the social worker so they can send reports back to Russia. This allows the Russian government to keep track of its citizen (child will have dual-citizenship) and also fosters a good relationship between the agencies and future adopters.

Lots of Blogs

http://www.russianblogsgalore.blogspot.com/

http://www.russianadoptionblogs.com/index.php

Received Child (if more than 1, final adoption date, agency, part of Russia, state live in, adoption length)

http://www.2dolphins.com/ (Feb. 08)

http://2008russia.blogspot.com/ (July 08) (Wide Horizons for Children) (Bryansk) (NH) (13 mths)

http://3fromrussia.blogspot.com/ (twins-Kemerovo-Dec. 08 + 2-Rostov-on-Don-2003) (23 mths)

http://adopt2fromrussia.blogspot.com/ (CA)

http://adoptingcolby.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 09) (Wide Horizons) (Kamensk) (17 mths) (CT)
http://adventuretohaylie.blogspot.com/ (Jan. 08) (Kemerovo) (KY)

http://adventureswithbearcub.blogspot.com/ (July 07) (Vladivostok) (FL)

http://a-leapof-faith.blogspot.com/ (Jan. 07) (Lighthouse Adoptions) (Moscow) (CA)

http://babytruestory.blogspot.com/ (May 09) (CHI) (20 mths)

http://bighappytnfamily.blogspot.com/ (2) (Novokuznetsk)

http://www.brouillette.blog-city.com/

http://buildingbruecks.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 08)

http://cadesblessings.blogspot.com/ (July 08)

http://carneyadoption.blogspot.com/ (TN)

http://cheeriosinmyshorts.blogspot.com/ (April 08) (Catholic Social Services) (CHI-original) (Moscow) (TX) (9mths)

http://chrisanddanica.blogspot.com/ (twins) (Dec. 07) (Alliance for Children) (Perm) (CO)

http://child-of-mine.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 07) (Childrens Hope International) (AL)

http://comeundone.typepad.com/come_undone/ (Alliance for Children) (St. Petersburg) (NY)

http://cravensadoptionstory.blogspot.com/ (May 08) (Catholic Social Services-originally with CHI) (Moscow) (MN) (16 mths)

http://daisraelfamily.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 08) (Childrens Hope International) (Moscow) (FL) (21 mths)

http://www.destinationsdreamsanddogs.com/ (4 )

http://dulittle-journey.blogspot.com/ (Vladivostok) (IL)

http://finding--emily.blogspot.com/ (April 08) (International Assistance Group) (Moscow) (CA) (6 mths)

http://findingrfamilee.blogspot.com/ (Oct. 08) (Childrens Hope International) (Vladivostok) (UT) (18 mths)

http://goeppneradoption.blogspot.com/ (2) (Feb. 08) (Kras) (FL)

http://ginsbergsrussianadoption.blogspot.com/ (Kemervo) (TN)
http://hearttohome.blogspot.com/ (2), (2004, Nov. 06), (Adoption Options), (Kirov, Murmansk)

http://hishersandours.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 07), (Smolensk), (TX), (25 mths)

http://holdingonfortheride.blogspot.com/ (Novosibirsk), (Southeast)

http://homesweethome-patti.blogspot.com/ (July 2008), (Astrakhan),(15 mths)

http://janesbiroadoption.blogspot.com/ (2), (Sept. 07), (changed agencies), (Birobidzhan), (TX), (33 mths)

http://jeffanddawn.blogspot.com/ (March 09), (Wide Horizons for Children), (Ekaterinburg), (9 mths)

http://jeffandmarias.blogspot.com/ (2), (Moscow), (MD)

http://joelandclarion.blogspot.com/ (2), (Sept. 08), (Childrens Hope International), (Vladivostok), (MO)

http://journey2rfamily.blogspot.com/ (3), (2005, 2006, 2008), (Murmansk)

http://journeytohotdog.blogspot.com/ (2), (Jan. 2004, Nov. 2005), (Childrens Hope International), (Astrakhan), (south)

http://journeytomax.blogspot.com/ (June 07), (Agency), (Vladivostok), (SC)

http://journeytoparents.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 08), (Agency), (Novosibirsk), (FL), (10 mths)

http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08), (Izhevsk), (16 mths)

http://katiedustin.blogspot.com/ (2), (Mar. 06, June 06), (Kemerovo, Chuvash), (TN)

http://kimabraham.blogspot.com/ (Dec. 08), (Novokuznetsk), (TN), (21 mths)

http://kourifamily.blogspot.com/ (2), (Mar. 2006, Feb. 2008), (AWAA), (Chelyabinsk), (22 mths)

http://laurenandmarco.blogspot.com/ (March 07), (Alliance for Children), (Moscow), (MD), (9 mths)

http://leskosadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 08), (SC), (8 mths)

http://www.lisarenniadoption.blogspot.com/ (2) (Alliance for Children) (Perm) (TX)

http://little-llama.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 2008), (Moscow), (15 mths)

http://www.magnificentmeredith.blogspot.com/ (June 08), (Moscow)

http://markysinzi.blogspot.com/ (Mar. 08), (Catholic Social Services), (Moscow), (AZ), (8 mths)

http://marymargaretmaybe.blogspot.com/ (July 08), (CHI), (St. Petersburg), (TN), (19 mths)

http://mike-mary2russia.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 09), (Agency), (Moscow), (TX)

http://miraculouslyourown.blogspot.com/ (July 09), (Adoption Associates), (Kaliningrad), (MI), (11 mths)

http://nrbfamily.blogspot.com/ (2004), (Final agency-Lighthouse Adoptions), (1st-CHI, 2nd-Adoption Ark) (Novokuznetsk, Kemerovo), (OK)

http://oneal-ourfamilyblog.blogspot.com/ (April 08), (Childrens Hope International), (Tver), (TN) (19 mths)

http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/ (June 07), (Childrens Hope International), (Vladivostok), (12 mths)

http://ourlittlesuperhero.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 07), (Informed Adoption Advocates), (Novosibirsk), (CA), (18 mths)

http://ourrussianangel.blogspot.com/ (May 09), (Ekaterinburg), (CA)

http://ourrussianchildren.blogspot.com/ (more than 1), (July 08), (Moscow), (MI)

http://overstreetjourney.blogspot.com/ (May 09), (CHI), (Vladivostok), (IL), (14 mths)

http://pathtoparenthood.blogspot.com/ (2), (Oct. 08), (CHI-original, Adoption Associates-agency), (Arkhangel'sk), (TX), (10 mths)

http://peteandme.blogspot.com/ (2), (March 09), (Krasnoyarsk), (IL), (17 mths)

http://pisarikadoption.blogspot.com/ (2), (Jan. 07), (Christian World Adoption), (Volgograd), (OK)

http://prudhomme-family.blogspot.com/ (private) (1 + 1 (in process), (2005), (Christian World Adoption), (Volgograd), (MO)

http://rileyadoption.blogspot.com/ (Oct. 07), (Childrens Hope International), (Petrozavodsk), (MN), (10 mths)

http://russianadoptionchronicles.blogspot.com/ (#), (Feb. 08), (Families through International Adoption), (Novokuznetsk), (IN), (15 mths)

http://russianpeanut.blogspot.com/ (July 08), (CHI), (Moscow), (16 mths)

http://siberiabrands.blogspot.com/ (2), (July 08), (Novosibirsk), (WA)

http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/ (God's Waiting Children), (CA)

http://solnichkababies.blogspot.com/ (2), (Cradle of Hope Adoption Center), (Khabarovsk), (VA)

http://stacypatandaidan.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08), (Bethany), (Krasnoyarsk), (VA), (18 mths)

http://swimmingwithfishes.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 09)

http://thebaersdengrows.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 08), (Adoption Options), (Kirov), (FL), (11 mths)
http://www.thebierbaumsadventure.blogspot.com/ (2), (March 07), (Adoption Options), (Orenburg), (CA), (9 mths)

http://thecareyadventures.blogspot.com/ (3), (Sept. 2003, Mar. 2006, Sept. 2007), (Adoption Options), (Pskov, Samara, Orenburg), (FL), (length)

http://thediapermonologues.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 08), (World Assoc. for Children & Parents), (Vladivostok), (WA)

http://www.thegebhardtfamily.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08), (Childrens Hope International), (Vladivostok), (IL)
http://www.thejergerjourney.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08), (America World Adoption), (Krasnoyarsk), (30 mths)

http://thekissackfamily.blogspot.com/ (Dec. 06), (Mikaliav)

http://themorganmemo.blogspot.com/ (July 08), (Kids First Adoption Services), (Ekaterinburg), (IN), (14 mths)

http://thesandersfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08),(Krasnoyarsk), (TN)

http://thesmiths441.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 08), (Childrens Hope International), (Krasnoyarsk), (NJ), (22 mths)

http://threegirlsandarussianboy.blogspot.com/ (Dec. 08), (Beacon House), (Kemerovo), (13 mths)

http://torussia-withlove.blogspot.com/ (Mar. 09), (Lighthouse Adoptions), (Vladivostok), (MI), (10 mths)

http://www.torussiawithhopeandfaith.blogspot.com/ (July 08), (IA)

http://tourtobeafamily.blogspot.com/ (May 09), (Adoption Options), (Kirov), (PA)

http://tiger-kar.blogspot.com/ (May 08), (Catholic Social Services-2nd), (VA), (8 mths)

http://trayloradoption.blogspot.com/ (Mar. 09), (Childrens Hope International), (Vladivostok), (FL), (14 mths)

http://vodkaandcaviar.blogspot.com/ (2), (Oct. 05, Mar. 08), (Ekaterinburg, Balashikha), (CT)

http://waldenfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/ (June 09), (Tomsk), (TX), (10 mths)

http://web.mac.com/jmartin7100/Adoption_Site/Welcome.html (2), (Oct. 08), (Childrens Hope International), (Novokuznetsk), (29 mths)

http://www.webchrissy.com/ (May 09), (Adopt a Child),(7 mths)

http://welcomevictor.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 07), (Childrens Hope International), (Vladivostok), (FL), (13 mths)

http://wolffamilyadoption.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 08), (Nizhny Novgorod), (CA)

In Process (# of children, date started, agency used, Region of Russia, state in)

http://2009russia.blogspot.com/ (Jan. 08), (Wide Horizons for Children), (Bryansk), (CT)

http://alexandrafaithkneiding.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 08), (Kaliningrad), (MI)

http://becomingamommy.blogspot.com/ (July 07), (Adoption Associates), (Cheboksary), (NJ)

http://crburbee.blogspot.com/ (Feb. 08), (Izhevsk), (MO)

http://curranadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 08), (World Association for Children and Parents), (Vladivostok)

http://www.fongfamilyadoption.org/ (May 09)

http://frogssnailsnpuppydogtails.blogspot.com/ (May 08), (Perm), (Calgary, Alberta)

http://fromtxtorussiawithlove.blogspot.com/ (May 08), (Kaliningrad), (TX)

http://gemsforglory.com/AJCQuest/ (Nov. 07), (America World Adoption)

http://hope-ourbabygirl.blogspot.com/ (Jan. 09), (Lighthouse Adoptions), (FL)

http://jasonandclarese.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 09)

http://jellemasjourney.blogspot.com/ (Oct. 08), (Alberta Child Services), (Vladivostok), (Alberta)

http://juliannalydia.blogspot.com/ (Apr. 08), (FTIA), (adopted 1 from Novokuznetsk in March 07)

http://mattiesbabybrothersisterfromrussia.blogspot.com/ ((World Horizons for Children), (Ekat), (MA)

http://maurailise.blogspot.com/ (Mar. 08), (Kemerova), (MI)

http://merzdn.blogspot.com/ (Gladney Center for Adoption), (Kaluga), (VA)

http://michaelandhunterann.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 08), (Vladivostok), (WA)

http://ourrussianadoptionadventures.blogspot.com/ (Nov. 07), (Kaliningrad)

http://prudhomme-family.blogspot.com/ (private) (Christian World Adoption), (Volgograd), (MO)

http://pupekfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/ (April 08), (World Horizons for Children), (Yekaterinburg), (NY)

http://seriouslyyoucantmakethisstuffup.blogspot.com/ (April 08), (Tyumen), (OH)

http://steveandkate.wordpress.com/ (Christian World Adoption), (OH)

http://theroadtomax.blogspot.com/ (Aug. 07), (Vladivostok)

http://theshrinerjourney.blogspot.com/ (May 08), (CHI), (KS)

http://thesmiths441.blogspot.com/ (Jan. 07), (CHI), (Krasnoyarsk), (NJ)

http://toddandjana.blogspot.com/ (Oct. 08), (AL)

http://tofindadaughter.blogspot.com/ (Mar. 08), (FL)

http://waitingforvladimir.blogspot.com/ (Krasnoyarsk)

Blog Templates

2009-07-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Anyone else like to look at new designs for your site? Well I found a pretty good list along my journey and after and thought I would share

Template Mama
Scrap-E-Blog-great designs has baby templates
Scrappin Blogs-has some really good baby ones-including adoption, baby, etc.
HOT bliggity BLOG
Aqua Poppy Designs
Smitten Blog Designs
Shabby Blogs
The Cutest Blog on the Block-think everyone knows of this one
Blogger Template

Web Template Portal
Beautiful Blog Designs-different sites that also have free templates
Gisele Jaquenod
Leelou Blogs-blogs all look alike just different colors
Simply Fabulous
Simply Heather-another that seemed to have same looks
Yummy Lolly

Enjoy! Let me know if there are any others that I have missed also

Finally Finished..yeah!

2009-07-26T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well if anyone has visited the past oh 24 hrs you have noticed lots of changes:) Well Im finally done with everything for now at least (no major things)

For the blogs..thanks to those of you who posted I figured out there was an option called following and it brought back almost all of them (I think I have followed everyone) so if you havent already started following the blogs you regularly visit its in your best interest so if you ever lose all your blogs they are all there (no freaking out like I did..haha!)

For anyone wondering about the design of it I did almost everything custom (basic template-then added on). If you dont know HTML and coding I wouldnt recommend it. I guess between me who teaches Web Design and hubby who builds custom stuff for the web we had our hands cut out..haha:)

For anyone curious of our canoeing trip...

1) Im burnt as a lobster thinking that no sunscreen would be ok since we would be under the trees and shade..yeah right

2) We only tipped a few times, and almost drowned just once..lets just say waterfall and we didnt know what we were doing:)

Ill have to post the few pictures I do have sometime soon.

Help...Help...

2009-07-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ok somehow I was messing around with my template and somehow have deleted all the blogs I had..I dont know how I did this.

Need your help to please post your blog link so I can add you back..thanks:) I cant believe I was that big of an idiot to do that...

Help..help...thanks so much:)

The Weekend is here....

2009-07-24T08:32:00.001-07:00

Well this weekend will officially be my last weekend before going back for teacher trainings and such because the first training is a week from today (July 31), then the next week will be full week and all the training for teachers then starting Aug. 10 the kids come back. Where has this summer gone? I mean it seemed like just yesterday it was May and I couldnt wait till May 20 came now the school year is starting back up. I always find it amazing how quickly the summer goes but how the school year seems to be a lot slower. We are heading out canoeing tomorrow I cant wait first timer here:)

Well on another note last night we watched Fired up, anyone seen it? Its kind of high schoolish movie but it was pretty cute. Well they had a quote in the movie that is so true.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon

Wow how true is this? How many times has someone told you just stop TTC and relax and it will happen. It all seems to fall under the same tree for sure.

So I had to go look up the exact quote and found a few others hope you enjoy..all by John Lennon

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
Everything is clearer when you're in love.
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!

A few other quotes

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. George Patton
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Walt Disney
God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. Mother Teresa
I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness. Mother Teresa
Have faith in God; God has faith in you. Edwin Louis Cole
Your faithfulness makes you trustworthy to God. Edwin Louis Cole

A great Bible verse-
Deut. 28:1
And if you faithfully obey the voice of the LORD your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth.

Ok I could really go on for days and days there are so many just thought I would share. Is there a quote or verse that you would like to share I always love adding to the list:) Im saving lots of verses and quotes to help me on those days that I really need a reminder that life isnt always peachy its how you rebound to know how strong you really are.

God has great plans...

2009-07-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

Almost one week and it seems like things have turned around..why you might ask? Its all because God is in control and I have finally turned the situation with my mom over to God and if we are meant to have a normal relationship then God will let it be and if not then Ill learn to accept that. Its a tough situation for sure to deal with especially when you are talking about your own mother but I know God has his hand on the situation. I just feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can live and survive now without the emotional rollercoaster.

I have also finally turned over our situation to God with having a baby and trust me I still have days I want to take that control back. We are humans and want to have full control over everything we do but we must let God be in the drivers seat. I dont know what road God will take us down to have a child but whatever road it might be I know it will be wonderful.

I have been emailing lots of CA people that have used the ministry and Im just in awe of the women and what a bunch of prayer warriors they are. Women & men sharing their journey to a child, sending verses and again and again I keep getting told "just let god take over the reigns and he will do the rest".

Im human you are human and we all want that full control but after reading story and story over and over God has really laid it on my heart to let that control lie with him and not with us. Tough tough thing but I know God will bring us through this with marvelous things!

Great reminder on the verse today.. we are all his children and hopefully one day we will inherit that beautiful blessing as well:)
Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 19:26..great verse to remember we are not in control...
26But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Getting to Know YOU...

2009-07-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

I know I have had a lot of newbies and quite a few lurkers too so the topic today is getting to know you.

A few things about us you may or may not know:

-I have two brothers (one is 12, the other is almost 22)

-we are huge Mississippi State fans (not Univ. of MS-thats our rival) and you will get to hear lots more about that come Sept when Football season starts:)

-we have been married since May 2003

-have one little puppy (Pomeranian) named Brownie who is just a little spoiled:)

-I am a high school computer teacher (will be my 3rd year) and hubby is a software engineer at a local school district. We both love our jobs!

-lived in Nashville for 2 years (2005-2007) and dearly miss it but wanted to be close to family so moved back to MS.

-this will be our 15th month TTC

-looking at both domestic and international adoption (Russia). Will probably do domestic first, save some $ and head to Russia in a few years.

So now is your chance feel free to post anything:) I would like to know all those who are following our journey. Do you have any kids, struggle with infertility, looking to adopt, already adopted, what do you do for fun, etc. If there is anything I can pray for you about please share or email me. I look forward to learning more about those who are here. Please post a link to your blog also so I can visit:)

Follicle Check..PERFECT!

2009-07-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

Well I went to the RE and my wonderful doctor was back from vacation I really did miss him:) He just has a way to make you feel so much better and hes always sooo positive about everything no matter if its good or bad news.

So I went for the vaginal ultrasound for the follicle check and I have 2 follicles that are now 20 & 25mm which he said was absolutely perfect I could not have asked for better numbers. I got an HCG shot because he was so pleased and well see what happens. He said I should ovulate anytime in the next 24 hrs or so:) It just made my day. Regardless if we get pg or not I just needed something to go right and hear some good news:)

Then I called CA (Thanks Kellie for all your info!) and the lady that owns it was truly wonderful. I think if it doesnt work out we will definitely go with them. I emailed 49 couples about their program with some questions so hopefully I will receive some answers from people who have used them. It was almost like I had this feeling that Ive never had..the feeling of excitement..the feeling of hope...the feeling that God was trying to tell me you have been trying this on your own, turn it over to me and give me the reigns and lets do this my way and not your way. A feeling I have never had with the state or Bethany.

We called a dear friend of ours who is a photographer and he has been so sweet to take pictures for our online profile I cant wait! Now we are going to start writing our dear birthmother letter so if anyone has any websites, books, blogs, etc that have helped you to create a wonderful birthmother letter please share!!

Im just amazed how you can go from feeling in your darkest and worst moments to being so excited for the future:)

Amazed...

2009-07-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

I just want to say a big thank you to all my blog friends who have left comments, sent such sweet emails from people I didnt even know...I just want to let you all know how much you truly mean:)

Sometimes it takes getting to some of your lowest points to realize that there is a way up and hopefully one day we will realize just how blessed we are to hold a precious child in our arms. I cant wait for the day but until I have to learn what patience is and sometimes it is very difficult.

A few verses that I read this morning just to remind me that I really am not on my own. God is with us even when we think he has totally forgotten us and abandon us

1 Peter 5:7
Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

Matthew 21:21
21And Jesus answered them, "Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' it will happen.

Matthew 21:22
22And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive,if you have faith."

Romans 8:25
25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Mark 11:23
23Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.

Psalm 25:2
2O my God, in you I trust;let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.

Psalm 56:4
4In God, whose word I praise,in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

Great reminder on adoption
Ephesians 1:4-6
4even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

I go in a few hours for the follicle check hopefully it will be good news:)

Why God did you pick us...

2009-07-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

I just read Jennys post and Ive been feeling this way for quite some time.

Why God do people all around me get pregnant with just having sex once?

Why do we have to go down a road that only few do and have such pain doing so?

15 mths of TTC and feeling like we are really no closer than when we started just a lot more out of our wallets with fertility treatments, medicines, needles, and oh that costly MRI I had done just to tell me I had a tumor..just lovely.

Why do I have a family who cant support our decision to adopt and lets us know that as well. Havent we endured enough pain with not being able to have our own kids but yet a family who cant support us too. How much more pain can we endure before giving up all hope of ever having a child?

Why God do people have to charge so much $ for adoption. Isnt there domestic agencies that charge under 15k?

I just dont comprehend how people can get pg in the backseat of a car in their teens and dont want to a kid but yet we would love to have a kid and practically do almost anything to get one but honestly cant do so.

Today we went to a church picnic with so many kids it was crazy (I knew and expected and have gotten to where I can handle it sometimes) but what I wasnt expecting was for a parent who has 3 kids to say she prays God wont give her another kid she already has her hands full enough. Really, seriously? I wish and pray that God would give us even one. Then others saying oh well we are going to have a April/May baby we just need to start TTC and it will happen quickly just like the last. Yeah again how lucky these women are. I just tried to fight through it but that maybe one of the hardest obstacles. How can you truly be so ungrateful for a kid when some people cant even have them?

I guess its just been an emotional rollercoaster and I know that things will get better but some things do set me back like occassions like this...

Maybe one day we will be so blessed to have a child of our own. I pray for the day and cant wait to see we are parents but I think its going to be a long road. I relaly have no faith in the adoption options we have chosen right now but well see I guess. We also found out that if we decide to do the classes through Bethany we will have to drop one (either the state or Bethany) we cant have an application in both places.

Decisions, decisions...and lots of prayer

disappointment....

2009-07-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday we went for what was a question and answer with Bethany which turned into what I didnt want to hear unfortunately.

The lady that we spoke to was very nice but the comments about lengths and adoptions just werent what I wanted to hear. Some info for those who are interested (again this is only for MS-some areas are probably very different)
-2 domestic adoptions this year (in 7 mths thats extremely low!)
-after our wait of 6-9 mths from our application date it can be anywhere from 1 to 3 years. I was in shock to hear the 3 year mark thats insane. I know its worst case scenario but still that would be close to 4 years...
-last year they had 20 adoptions total in the state
-they like to only have 20 families at a time for a birthmom to look at so thats why the wait is long to get in the class
-each class that meets starts out with 6-8 couples and ends up with 4-6 usually. Some decide adoption isnt for them she stated.
-last class they had was in April and they have another class in August (couples who applied in Jan, Feb, & Mar) so if thats the cycle we would start classes in Dec. (Misty we would probably be in the same class:)
-what birthmoms usually look for is: parents who have no kids, moms who will SAHM, if they have another kid they do not want it to be biological bc they think a parent might favor the biological kid
-lady did state that most of the families are in their mid 30's to early 40's. They rarely have couples who want to adopt that are in their 20's
-she recommended a few books for us to help us out during the wait period.

Im not sure at this point what we will do. It just really seems like it will be an eternity if we wait for Bethany here. Our pastor stated that usually people have to wait the 6-9 mths and the longest he has seen was 18 mths which would be over 2 years in total.

Im just beyond frustrated with everything and it seems like we will never get a kid especially two. Ive been doing lots of research about Russian adoption too and thats always a possibility too. If Im going to pay 25-35k for a kid we will definitely go to Russia rather than do domestic. Just considering everything.

Follicle Check

2009-07-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well Im back from my appointment from the RE. I totally forgot when I went in that my RE was actually out of town this week and so is his nurse. I got a new doctor and nurse that seemed pretty friendly I will have to admit. So the results
Have 2 follicles (14 mm & 17mm) and my uterine lining is 10 in.
The doctor stated that neither one of these is quite to ovulation and more than likely I will only have one follicle that will make it.

I have to go back Monday to see if the follicles have matured or not and they wont charge me for the ultrasound..yeah:)

Hopefully I will get at least one that can mature enough to make a baby we will wait and see I guess. The new doctor stated that in order to do a HCG shot that the follicle must be at least 21mm so thats what we are hoping for.

Well our appointment with Bethany is in less than 2 hrs hopefully we will find out some more information:)

Got my upcoming schedule for teaching and I love it! I have 4th block off every day for both semesters and my classes will be so much fun. Thats means that pretty much I will be done everyday 1:40ish. I dont think I could ever get so excited about teaching & classes but I really cant wait:) Im so much more motivated earlier in the day by the last class I always ran out of energy or so it seems like so yes Im excited:)

Russian Adoption

2009-07-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ok I must admit I am addicted..to what you might ask? I just found the Russian database

Now if I could just read Russian I might could figure out what it was saying. Wow look at all those adorable kids I want to go pick one up now:) I will add it to the side for anyone that ever wants to go back at a later date.

Ok this has just made my day as silly as it might be. Im working on the list of adoption blogs and a lot of information to go with it. Hopefully I can finish it all up by this weekend and post by at least Monday. I figure I would share it with anyone who wanted it and I know if any of you are like me if its out there I love the info but am sometimes not the best at emailing or asking for info:)

Well less than 24 hrs till we get lots of info cant wait! My appt in the am is at 10:15 then our appt with Bethany is at 3 I cant wait. The excitement is building!

For my parents thought I would answer everything here-my parents are just those type of people that think they are too good for counseling, are the type of people you see on Sunday sometimes in church but are not regulars, they claim to be Christians but their actions sure dont show it. My parents both know how upset we are with them with their comments and maybe one day we will have a normal relationship but right now its very strained for sure.

Adoption and how it affects your family

2009-07-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well we have been doing lots of research with International Adoption and Ive gotten lots of information regarding Russian Adoption and the real costs of it from real people. Its really helped to see the real costs of things. I have also found a TON of blogs for Russian adoption and if anyone is interested please leave a comment with your email address and Ill be happy to email them your way.

Chad & I were talking the other day and he asked me the questions "do you think that God has led us to adoption because of your parents"? Thats a really good question because my parents are really against us adoption and I honestly have never figured it out. Is God trying to teach them that adoption is a beautiful thing that they should rejoice in? I dont know if God is using us to teach them that lesson in life or not but I cant wait to share in the joy of an adopted child. We always said we were going to adopt whether we had one of our own or not.

That being said my mom has just said some really hurtful things lately to me and I really honestly dont want to have anything to do with her. Dont know what she is going through but gosh she has been horrible and so has my dad. Is it bad that I dont want to be around my own parents? They have not ever been the most supportive parents and honestly now Im to a point I dont want to be around people that just bring me down. Adoption is an emotional process with lots of ups and downs and lots of patience and its really tough and my parents are just making it that much harder. They should be the ones to support us and encourage us but unfortunately I dont have those kind of parents.

On the flip side Chads family is truly wonderful and calls all the time to see if we have heard anything. They pray for us each and every day and its just amazing the difference between two families.

On to other things-Friday will be a big day
I go in for my ultrasound Friday morning to see how many follicles and possibly get a HCG shot if things look good.
Then we got the call that we are going to meet with Bethany on Friday afternoon I cant wait! Our pastor (who is on the board) called and got us in..yeah!

On a final note our church puts out a newsletter each week and the verse this week was so perfect. Such a great reminder...
"Do not worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6

What a weekend it has been!

2009-07-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

What a Saturday I think today has gone officially down in the books as the worst Saturday ever!

Well it all started on Saturday at 6 am to wake up and find out Brownie who is pretty good about not pottying on things used the bathroom on the floor (thank goodness it wasnt the carpet) I got to clean up that lovely stuff so early and then watch tennis (yes my choice to watch Chad and my brother) and having to stare straight into the sun for an hour. (not so bad)

Come home relax for a little while and decide to get my prenatal vitamin prescription refilled only to wait 40 minutes since the prescription never came over to the pharmacy. Then I find out that my insurance is worthless and doesnt cover it or I guess I should say it covers but the vitamins are less than my deductible since its so high on brand stuff..how..I guess thats why you must love insurance. The pharmacist tells me there is a generic which if I went somewhere else that is much cheaper that they will cover. Well I call around to pharmacies only to find out that viatmin has no generic the pharmacist didnt know what they were talking about at the first place I later find out.

Then at the 2nd tennis match (that we waited for an hour for!) we come out only to find out that Chad parked behind a gate and we were locked in. Thank goodness that my parents were there and we had a ride but frustrating wasnt even the point. Then Chad got hit in the eye (tennis balls seem to like him-first his eye, before it was his arm then we cant forget about softball too in the stomach). He went down and I really thought it was going to be off to the ER but of course hes tough and made it.

Then we ride home with my parents my parents to begin with (long story short) think that adoption is stupid and we should just have our own why would anyone adopt is their point. Well my dad made a really hateful comment about us adopting that really was just uncalled for. Then on the way home (it was close to 8 pm) we stopped in at a restaurant to eat only for my dad to throw a tenter tantrum like a 2 yr old then my mom joined him with the 2 yr old attitude. I finally said lets go Ill eat something at home we arent dealing with this. So we left and went home.

Then me and Chad went back out to get something quick at a local diner that we normally love thats pretty quick. Well they screwed up both of our orders and when we sent it back the waitress got an attitude with us. We were both already at our not so grand attitude so we just left and found something else. No telling what they would have done to the food Ive learned my lesson there. We did finally find something to eat.

Oh then AF is beyond heavy for 3 straight days and normally AF is only heavy for about 12-18 hrs. I was beginning to think I had lost it. Maybe thats why Ive been an emotional rollercoaster lately.

That was the end of Saturday...glad I dont have days like that everyday...

Sunday was better thank goodness. We played tennis for about 2-3 hrs (yes in the very hot sun in MS with the heat!) and Im starting to actually hit the ball back (yes Im a very true begineer).

Thank goodness AF is also starting to disappear I really am tired of seeing her around. Wish she would disappear for oh say about 9 mths that would make my day or actually a lot more than that:)

I know it will work out when God its Gods will but this patience thing is really getting to me. I think God is really teaching us to be patient and to obey him and this is really hard for me but Im working on it:)

That ended up being a lot longer than I thought..just needed to get it all off my chest:)

Last but not least if any of you have a Prenatal vitamin you recommend please share. Ive been taking the GNC Prenatal vitamin and its been making me so sick to my stomach lately.

Week In Recap

2009-07-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

First of all I just want to congrulate a few of the new pg mommies out there. It seems like I came back and everyone is announcing they are pg which definitely gives me some hope:) So congrats to all of you:)
Lacy, Diana, Caroline

First of all I have really had a rough week and I think Chad even thought I was a bit psycho. Things are better now for sure I think there are just moments everything hits you at once and this week was one of those weeks.

So onto better news-weighed in this morning and had gained a bit from the trip even with all the walking and I lost 4.6 lbs this week. I had to check the scale a few times I really thought my eyes were deceiving me. Its been a really long time since I had a loss like that.

TTC
Saw the nurse the other day and today I start Femara 2.5 mg on days 5-9. I will go in for an ultrasound on day 12 (since day 14 is on a Sunday) and see how the new medicine works. I will go in at 7 DPO (or as close to it) to get my progesterone tested to see if it worked or not. With Clomid I always had a high progesterone so hopefully that will continue. I thought it was very interesting to know that one of the big differences between Clomid and Femara is how it sends to ovulate. With Clomid it goes straight to your pituitary gland (which I have a small pituitary tumor for anyone new) and Femara goes straight to your ovary. Seems like to me that Femara would work better but time will tell. It made me just a bit excited for once to read Dr. Google:) We all know how Dr. Google can really give you some results you dont like to hear so for once something good:)

Domestic Adoption
Yesterday we went to get our fingerprints for the state and everything was fine. We had to wait 30 minutes for our SW to get back which was rather annoying since I called him a few minutes before we arrived and he said he would be back then 30 minutes later he finally does. While we were there though we heard a very disturbing situation (shocked that the SW was talking about the entire situation in the waiting area!). The mom was originally from LA and obviously had her kid taken away from her from the sounds of it b/c she couldnt provide a home and she was on meth. Well the mom that had gotten her kid taken away pretty much said well in LA the state gives you free house, doesnt make you work and doesnt really care. This just made me beyond mad. This mother isnt out to take care of her kid, if she was she wouldnt have a problem providing a roof over her kids head. The kid was probably about 2 and absolutely adorable. It just infuriates me to no end to see a parent like this who can have a kid and then us.

Also talked to the lady that was doing our homestudy (we have 2 SW-one for home study, other for everything else) and it sounded like she hasnt even put it in the system. It just annoys me the way things run here.

Russian Adoption
Gotten information regarding Russian adoption and it is extremely pricy I must admit so I think for that matter alone we would probably try to adopt one through domestic and then maybe after saving up for it try Russian Adoption. We are going to go to a meeting with Bethany to find out more information but would not go through them.

Also found out after talking with the Russian Federation in Houston that you dont have to use an agency so thats always a possibility too. We would just have to find a translator. Also found it interesting that there are only 11 agencies in our district that are accrediated in Russia thats it which was very shocking to me. Here is the list for anyone curious

Other News
My grandmother went in for a heart catheter this morning and everything went well for her and she is out of surgery so huge praise!

Just when I think that God has left me to the side Im reminded of what a great God we serve!

Washington DC Trip-Part 1

2009-07-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

If you would like to see all the pictures click here Let me know if the link doesnt work:)

Sunday-got into DC went straight to convention center with luggage, not fun. Finally got to our hotel and just crashed. Decided to take a walking trip to Boston Market and found out it’s a lot longer walk than we originally thought it was.
Dummer Boys at the Convention Hall

Monday-Tuesday: Convention, Convention and more convention. Didn’t do much else. Also found out that Food Courts close at 7 pm who would have ever thought in such a big city they would close so early?! We did get to go see the White House and Executive Offices
us in front of the White House-it really does exist..haha

Wednesday-half day at Convention Hall then we we were off to sight see. We went to the National Archives, Spy Museum and did Operation Spy (pretty cool like Jack Bauer on 24)
International Spy Museum

Archives

Washington DC Trip-Part 2

2009-07-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Thursday- felt so worn out after walking so much that day! We went to the Library of Congress, Supreme Court, Capitol, Union Station, American History Museum, and Natural History Museum. Since we got tickets from our representative from MS we got to go inside the Capitol and actually see what it looks like. If you didn’t get tickets you just got to sit on the outside.
Supreme Court

Hope Diamond

us at the Library of Congress-amazing building all marble!

Friday-Another day of totally worn out. Went to see the Holocaust, Washington Monument (couldn’t get tickets to go to the top they were sold out in less than 30 minutes after they opened, but did get to see it I guess), Jefferson Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, World War II Memorial (one of my favorites), WW I Memorial, National Aquarium (don’t go here I could have gone to a pet shop and got more entertainment), Arlington Cemetery, Pentagon, Pentagon Memorial, and we got to paddleboat out on the Tidal Basin (my favorite part and it was only $10 for 1 hr!!)

Washington Monument

Paddle boat-Jefferson Memorial in the corner

World War II Memorial

Pentagon Memorial

Arlington Cemetery-Tomb of the Unknown Soldier-changing of the guards

Saturday-almost missed our flight because we didn’t think to check to see how often the buses ran. Well our luck we just missed one and we had to wait an additional 40 minutes for the next one! We got to the airport with about 40 minutes to spare and the rude woman at the airport had to take a break right when we got up to her. I was beyond pissed and wanted to throw something at her. She wasn’t even nice about it, rude, rude! We were able to get to our flight because it was delayed thank goodness but if not, I don’t think we would have made it.
Leaving on the subway

Lists....

2009-07-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Megan at Infertile Myrtle.

8 Things I am Looking Forward to:
* Destin, FL end of the month!
* Having kids...cant wait!
* starting teaching at my new school in August
* starting a normal work out to get these pounds off!
* the heat to start going down
* getting new clothes for the new job when we go to Destin!
* finally getting my year planned for all my great kids!
* seeing if Femara does anything different for my body

8 Things I did Yesterday:
* Woke up later
* got Chick-Fil-A for breakfast
* talked to the nurse at the RE's office
* Watched tv.
* Watched Chad play his tennis match
* Took a shower and got ready for the day.
* started a Twitter account
* Grocery shopped.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
* Sing.
* Dance.
* lose the weight
* Make a baby without so much difficulty.
* predict into the future
* Live debt free.
* Go to Hawaii
* stay on vacation all the time!

8 Shows I Enjoy:
* 24
* anything HG-TV
* How I met your Mother
* Biggest Loser
* Friends
* The Office
* 7th Heaven
* Two and a Half Men

8 Friends I am Tagging:
Let me know in the comments when you complete it so I can come and check you out!

* Our Journey of Love
* God's Faithfulness Through Infertility
* The Life of Mimi
* Praying for our little one to come
* Journey to a "Wondraful" Baby
* Love at First Sight
* ~*My Infertility Journey*~
* The Life of Jennifer

CD1

2009-07-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well today is CD 1 honestly had no shot of being pregnant but what really is frustrating how early AF came I mean right on time with the 10 DPO mark of every month but only to have a 23 day cycle is sooo short, shortest ever..what is up?? Dont think I will ever figure that one out.

Talked with the nurse at the RE's office she is truly wonderful and so sweet! Any question Ive ever had she is always right there to answer anything. Anyway the plan is to take Femara days 5-9 I forgot to ask her what dosage either 2.5 mg or 5 mg. If anyone is interested in trying it here is the voucher for a free 30 day 2.5 mg (so if you take 2.5 mg thats 6 mths FREE or if you take 5 mg its 3 mths FREE!) Ive read several things with people who took clomid who got pg quickly with Femara guess we will see how it works.

For International Adoption and what has really got me thinking about it is seeing the Holocaust Museum. Has anyone else seen it? Wow and the childrens part of it, it brought me almost to tears so sad and has really gotten to me big time. Its a thought right now well see what happens. It would just be really tough with teaching and making trips but not sure how many and how long so anyone who has info I would love to hear any.

Still working on the DC post its going to be a big one sometime this week!

Back From DC

2009-07-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone has had a great week we have had a great week but very exhausting to say the least. DC if you have never been is a city that you walk, walk and then some more. We walked anywhere from 5-8 miles a DAY! I think my feet felt like they were really about to fall off. I mean I walk pretty regularly but not that much.

When we got back though we got into serious shock from the difference in weather I mean we knew it would be hotter here but it about knocked you down. I must say I wish I could take the weather and our bed but other than that the rest can be left. People were just down right rude to us they need to learn some lessons from the southerners for sure!

Ill try to do a full update with pictures one day this week I need to organize almost 500 pictures and go through them. We did see a lot of history for sure.

In other news..there has been no word of any type from adoption stuff and doubt we will hear anything either. We have talked about other agencies and possibly even doing international adoption via Russia but its all talk now we will see. Ive been reading the The Adoption Decision: 15 Things you want to know before adopting and its really a great book Im almost finished with it and its taught me a few things.

Also, Im thinking about trying Femara this month anyone who has taken it I would love to hear your thoughts. I can get a FREE month of it so that would be nice as well! Ive just heard and read that Femara is not nearly as bad as Clomid which Ive taken for 6 mths with nothing so time to try something different.

Washington DC Trip

2009-06-27T09:54:00.001-07:00

We are headed out to Washington DC tomorrow morning EARLY. I cant wait to see a new city and do new fun things. Have a great week!

Financing Adoption

2009-06-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

After looking through so many agency websites I have come across several options for helping with the costs of adoption which if anyone has looked at the cost through an agency realizes its not cheap at all. Here are a few sites that Ive run across for anyone considering adoption.

Adoption is clearly God’s heart. It says in Ephesians 1:5, “…He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”

Great website that lists almost all options (international, foster, etc. are not listed below) including international adoption travel fees reduced at the very bottom

Just a reminder for anyone adopting that there is a 12,150 credit for the 2009 tax year for anyone with a Adjusted gross income of 170,820 to help with adoption costs that definitely would help out big time.
National Adoption Foundation
National Adoption Foundation Credit Card
A Child Awaits Foundation-low interest loan
Abba Fund-Interest Free Loan
Bank of America Adoption Loan (up to 25k)

Gods Grace Adoption Ministry-grants & fundraising
Gift of Adoption-grants up to 7500
Help us Adopt-Grants up to 15,000
Show Hope-Adoption Grants
Lifetime Adoption Foundation

Shades of Us-Fundraising Ideas

If anyone has any others please share:)

Washington DC Trip

2009-06-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

We are heading to Washington DC next week for an entire week and just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for restaurants. If so, please share:)

If anyone knows about the area we are going to a convention for a few days at the Walter E Washington Convention Center and is there anything close by for lunch and such??

Thanks for any info!

_________________
For the Adoption stuff, after yesterday we are really just thinking twice about going through the state. Its been nothing but a joke honestly and anytime we need to get ahold of anyone its impossible. How would we ever even find out we could get a kid??

We are on the waiting list at Bethany as well which is probably one of the cheaper for adoptions. We have to wait 6-9 mths (already waited almost 2 mths) to get into a meeting and then from there it will probably be a while later. They said from initial application to expect 1.5 to 2 years which would be December 2010 to May 2011.

Chad is doing better but hes still extremely sore and has a huge bruise but hopefully he will recover soon!

Home Study Complete!

2009-06-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well a quick run down on the home study... which I must admit was a major disappointment...

Yesterday our SW was supposed to be here at 2 pm, well she showed up about 10 minutes late, then when she got here she forgot all the paperwork to ask us. I dont understand how you cant be prepared for this?? So 45 minutes later (close to 3 pm) we finally got started.

She sat down we got to chatting and then she asked us questions for 2.5 hrs. I was to the point of boredom or more like beyond. Some of the questions she asked us we had already filled out in our packets and some questions were asked 2 or 3X just in a different way. After 2.5 hrs of questioning she obviously thought it was time to wrap up so she left the last 4-5 pages with us to fill out. I really dont get this at all. If she was going to leave us with the paperwork then why could we not have filled it all out?? She took the paperwork she asked us and wouldnt let us see our answers to it.

After the questioning she toured the home which was literally about a 2-3 minute quick tour of the house. She looked into each of the rooms and that was it. She never even opened closets or anything. All that cleaning...

The biggest disappointment more so than everything else is she knew NOTHING about adoption, just fostering. How did we get a SW who doesnt know anything about adoption?? I just dont understand at all. We kept asking questions and then she told us we could contact the adoption hotline if we wanted any answers to our question. Yeah thanks what was the point in you coming seriously?? Then the other thing was she kept pushing us towards fostering. After her asking us many times are we sure we didnt want to foster we both had to be kind of stern with her. No lady we dont want to foster cant you get that through your brain or what??!!

After all of it well see what happens from here she doesnt think we will have any issues getting approved we know have to be approved through the state to get the home study approved. Then our next step is to get fingerprinted which will either be tomorrow or Friday (waiting to hear back) or when we return from DC next week.

I honestly dont know if we will adopt through the state or not after dealing with not 1 but 2 incompetent SW it just seems like they cant hire people who are. Its very frustrating and dealing with outside people with things such as the CPR the one lady asked me how we have dealt with them it is that bad. How do people get jobs especially caring for innocent children?? I just dont get it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news, last night we went to Chads softball game and he was pitching and got knocked out by a line drive. He has a huge, huge bruise which is the shape of the softball and it hit him so hard you could actually see the seam of the softball where it hit him. Poor thing is in a lot of pain for sure.

Then also while we were at the softball game I was talking to one of the wives of another softball player who we are good friends with and her sister has adopted one little boy and is trying to adopt their 2nd child. I asked who they are going through and who they went with for the 1st child and she said Journey of the Heart They adopted their little boy from Taiwan and he is precious! The cost is about 25-30k though which is a bit high or compared to Bethany I guess.

We are heading out with some friends tonight they wanted to know more about our adoption story so should be fun!

Home Study TOMORROW!!

2009-06-22T12:42:00.001-07:00

Talked to the SW this morning and she is coming out TOMORROW at 2 pm for our home study..yeah! It will be our last step before receiving a precious child into our home I cant wait!! If anyone has any tips for any part of the home study that has been through it or known someone who has I would love to hear (what do they look for, questions asked, what you wish you would have known, etc. ) Thanks for any tips! Off to clean up!

A few pictures (have lots more but will have to upload the rest later)
Me and my sweet hubby

The arch at the Cardinals game

Me and my brother

Melanie (brothers gf), my brother, Chad, and me at DMB concert (it was hot!)

St. Louis Trip

2009-06-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

We are finally back from St. Louis which was a fun trip but boy am I worn out! Ill just do the highlights today and Ive got to go through about 250-300 pictures and post a few (yes I took way too many..haha!)

Wednesday
got to St. Louis in pretty good time, took showers and got ready for the concert. Before the concert we went to eat at Uno's which was very good but oh so very filling!

DMB concert was awesome and he played many songs that we have never heard in concert so it was definitely worth the trip for that alone:) It started sprinkling on us but it was just enough to feel good since it was a bit muggy for sure.

Thursday
Got up early and headed to the zoo (Forest Park) and we stayed for a few hours and then came to the conclusion if we look through everything we wont be able to do a thing extra so we went through about half the zoo. Its a tie on my favorite thing seen which was the butterflies and the sea lions:)

After we were all hot and sweaty we went and ate at Blueberry Hill which I must admit was a bit disappointing. The service was terrible and the food was just "ok" nothing special. The service was so bad we didnt leave a tip. Well the guy who was our waitor while I was in the bathroom came up to Chad and (yes its true) asked him why we didnt leave a tip. He was pretty ticked that the dude had the nerve and went to the manager and told him and he was mad he had the nerve and gave us all our meals for free.

After that we went to the Anheuser Busch and toured the building. It was rather fascinating I must admit and to see all of it being made and the process involved is just amusing, That took a large chunk of time more than we thought.

Then we went to the Gateway Arch and by this time it was getting close to time to go to the Cardinals game. We wanted to do the ride to the top but we just didnt have time and decided to come back the next day. We then went to eat dinner and ended up at TGIFridays after figuring out there wasnt much around the stadium according to many of the St. Louis natives.

Went to the game and the Cardinals lost unfortunately but we had great seats and enjoyed the game, very nice stadium. Then after the game we all forgot where we parked and we ended up going back to pictures we took before to figure out where we parked it was rather funny when we had to cross back and all the way back around.

Friday
Got up pretty early and went to see the inside of the Gateway Arch which was rather amusing. Of course my brother is terrified of heights Im really shocked he went. On the way up before we got into our little cart he looked like he was about to pass out he was so scared and then his girlfriend started getting scared too which she was the one that started the idea. The ride up was much more scarier than the ride down but that was really a neat thing to do if you ever make it up to St. Louis.

After that we headed home and stopped in Memphis to eat late lunch/early dinner at Jim n Nicks BBQ and made it back last night before midnight.

We didnt get to do everything we wanted to do we packed too much stuff in such a short amount of time. We will definitely have to go back sometime it was really a fun place with so much to do!

Home Study

2009-06-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

Just talked to the social worker (we have two) and we are going to do our home study the week we return from St. Louis. She was going to talk to the other social worker to decide on a date for sure but said it would definitely be that week...yeah! So sometime in the week of June 22-26!

Now let the cleaning begin..haha!

We are heading out for St. Louis tomorrow morning early with my brother and his girlfriend so should be a fun filled packed trip. I dont know when we will possibly sleep but I guess well find sometime I cant wait!

Start to a fun filled week!

2009-06-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Just a few updates.... for anyone curious

*Havent heard back about the homestudy yet. Tried to call the guy and his it went straight to vm.
*Talked to the RE nurse about possibly doing any progesterone pills, suppositories, etc. and she said that she didnt really think it was necessary now until I was on medicated cycles so we will see I guess.
*Picked up some B6 vitamins Im going to try that out and see what happens. Ive tried it before but I really didnt do it for a full cycle and it was only 50 mg, I got the 200 mg and will be taking it each day
*Ordered a new basal thermometer I hate the one I have and it was rated one of the best by Consumer Reports and it was under $10 + shipping so not bad.
*after reading lots of adoption blogs over the past few days I really just think God is really leading us towards adoption. Im excited to see what God has in store for us:)
*Talked to the lady at Bethany and she said that the wait for the initial meeting was 6-9 mths which was from May 4 when our initial application was accepted. Then from that date the average wait time is 1.5 to 2 years right now through their agency. Yikes thats a long time!
*2 more days until St. Louis I cant wait!
*A picture of my only little fur baby, Brownie for now. She is a bit spoiled...all 9 lbs of her

AF is here..

2009-06-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday late afternoon AF came with a vengance. I figured she would be here just didnt know when. Of course Im disappointed but know that when it is in Gods plan for us to have a baby we will.

Confused is an Understatement

2009-06-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

So here I am thinking that AF was going to be here on Wednesday, today she still hasnt made it yet. Its pretty much like my urine has changed to light pink, just weird.

The only thing that I can really say that its like is implantation bleeding. It happens 6-12 days after O (mine would be 10 it started) and it lasts for 48-72 hrs. Implantation bleeding is scanty and usually pink or brownish discharge. Well see what happens.

I just wish AF would come or stay away. Its like mind games to see if Im paying attention or not and so very confusing!

A few articles if anyone wants to read more about implantation bleeding
Just Mommies article
Amazing Pg Article
Baby Med

If AF still doesnt come by Monday maybe I will retest. I know that God has a plan for us and right now I dont know what that is or when Ill know his plan but hopefully one day we will know:)

Other Plans

2009-06-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I thought AF was starting because it was kind of dried blood. Then last night I went to the bathroom a few other times and it was totally gone. Then this morning it was the same way kind of dried blood but very very faint. Im not sure what is going on but Im so confused is AF starting or not. I feel like its trick on my brain to see if Im paying attention or something

I ended up being brave and testing it came back with a BFN so Im guessing its the start to AF...

Its a bit disappointing but then I know that God has a plan for us and I have to remember to be patient to his plan whatever that maybe. I really didnt hold out much hope of this cycle anyway but it is disappointing to see AF so early or so it seems like.

Amazed...

2009-06-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

Im amazed the love of people to go out of their ways to help those who say we are adopting.

Our doctor that did our physical who also had adopted gave us a cheaper price as soon as he heard that we were adopting, pretty cool! The physical is totally complete now as of Monday when we went back to get our TB skin test checked which takes 2 days to make sure. I have had lots of blood test but this one sure stung.

Ive been calling around for CPR classes and one lady at a local hospital is making a special class just for us so we can get our training done. Also found out if you are adopting and will have to have CPR training more than likely you dont have to get the actual CPR full class thats for the medical professions. So anyway we are doing that tonight because we met an amazing lady who wanted to help us out.

Yesterday we turned in all our adoption paperwork and asked our SW if we had any idea how long it would be for our home study. He said that we would do it either the week we came back from St. Louis (week of June 22) or the first week in July (when we return from Washington) I cant believe it because he told us in the class it would be 30-60 days but it will definitely be lower than 30.

That to say things are moving along so well I really have to pinch myself sometimes and say wow its all happening so quickly. Before we know it, we will have our own precious miracle of our own.

Today marks 10 DPO which usually means AF always makes her appearance on this day, Ive never made it to 11 DPO its a whole new ball game to me. We will see what God has in store for us. I really think I will wait until Saturday, Sunday, or Monday to test. I would almost rather see AF to show up than a BFN so well see what happens. Either way I am excited that maybe just maybe my LP is going to a regular. It started at 5 DPO, then 9 DPO and now I might be making it even further.

Im truly amazed at how great God is:)

Resources

2009-06-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

I have added info on both sides-books, websites, etc. (one for adoption-left side, TTC-right side) for anyone who is interested. I got tired of always searching back through old posts to find that website so figured I would add them so I have a handy reference.

If anyone has websites, books, magazines, etc to share on either TTC or Adoption I would love to have them and I will get them added for future reference.

Waiting is TOUGH!

2009-06-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Psalm 31:24
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

Waiting is really hard and its something that we do so much over the course of our life. I found a few verses just to remind me to be patient, wait for the Lord and to be strong.

This morning it got me thinking how much do we truly wait and how much patience do we really have? I can say that my patience is growing lower and not as strong but I know I must be strong through all of this and God will bring us out of the wait.

Today is 8 DPO-CD 22 and probably will be the longest few days of my life or so it seems. I dont plan to test anytime soon because I highly doubt that Im pg, maybe Im wrong but I keep telling myself this especially since I have nada on the symptom list. If I dont get AF by this upcoming weekend, maybe I will test, well see. I guess Im scared of what the results will be, this will mark month 13 and I have never seen anything different so why would this month be any different?!

Saturday we went to get our physical completed and the nurse asked me when my last period was. Told her and she asked me again like I didnt know or something. She said that I possibly have a YI or pg what a range of change I must say. She said it was too early to test for pg and to tell for sure. I must admit it did get my hopes up but well see what the results hold.

Now we wait for the CPR class, then home study, then for our baby!

Adoption Paperwork

2009-06-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would post it here for anyone who is curious what all paperwork you have to go through. Total of 54 pages of work

1) 4 references (2 pages each)
2) Employment verification for both
3) Adopt Application
4) Physical for both
5) Financial Statement (must include ALL assets- such as checking, stocks, bonds, all bills, insurance, etc.)
6) Form stating you cant use corporal punishment (think this is geared towards those adopting older children who have been abused)
7) Child Abuse Central Registry (make sure we are not bad people)
8) Background Check
9) Emergency/Evacuation Plan for your home
10) Directions to your Home
11) Referral / Option Out Request for an attorney to finalize adoption (they pay up to $600)
12) contract in order to be a resource home (means you have been fully certified and licensed to have children in your home) (4 pages long)
13) Life Story on each person (7 pages and they ask a lot of questions and want you to tell every little detail of your life)
14) Family rules and responsibilities (give you several different situations and ask how you would handle things such as chores when a child comes into your home, ask you to rate if any certain behavior is something you cant handle) (11 pages)

We still have to do our physical and CPR class. Physical we were told to come Monday then CPR class Im still trying to get a hold of someone to do it, so hopefully soon so we can get all our paperwork in soon!

Summer Tours

2009-06-05T07:09:00.001-07:00

Well we have added a new stop to our summer tour and Im so excited about it! Anyone a fan of DMB (Dave Matthews Band) we are going to see him..yeah! So our summer stops now

June 17-19: St. Louis, MO-See Dave Matthews Band
June 28-July 4-: Washington, DC
July 31- Aug. 2: Destin, FL

Also, if anyone who has been to Washington has any recommendations on food, things to do, etc please leave a comment because Im in search for everything to make sure we catch it all while we are there!

Have a fabulous weekend!

Happy Birthday

2009-06-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

Today is my grandmothers 69th birthday, this is a picture of me, my grandmother (moms mom) and my grandfather (dads dad). I love them both dearly! My grandfather will be 91 this year.

We are having a cookout tonight for her birthday she didnt want to go out so should be fun. Poor thing has really been through a lot in the past week (with her ex hubby) so hopefully she will have a great day!

Final Adoption Class

2009-06-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well we have officially graduated from Adoption class..haha! We still have a few more things to do but we are nearing the end until our wait begins. What we have left to do:

-CPR class
-get physicals done on both of us

After we complete these 2 steps we have to turn in all our paperwork to the people that did our class (one will probably be our social worker as well) and then from there we wait for them to complete the home study (usually within 30-60 days), then home study has to be approved, then we will await our precious miracle. So exciting!

Things from last nights class:
-hubby did great on his little speech about adoption (yes he is adopted)
-its not required but recommended to be in support groups the local one for our state is Southern Christian Services
-PIP (Partners in Permancy) is part of it as well
-stated it was good to have a LifeBook which could contain the following stuff
--birth information, birth family info, placement info, medical info, school info, religious info
-found out if we go through the state that DHS (Dept of Human Services) will pay up to $600 to finalize the adoption, anything over that we will have to pay for.
-there is a 6 mth waiting period to make sure that the child is ok and bonds well before they will finalize the adoption, they will do occassional visits, but once adoption is finalized there are no visits.

I have about 10-11 pages of info regarding adoption if anyone is interested please leave a comment with your email and Ill put it all together and send your way.

OPK Dilemma

2009-06-01T08:07:00.001-07:00

Well I have realized the reason I hate OPK strips and why I stopped doing them. I cant seem to figure out if its + or -. Ive tried to interpret it a few times but Im getting + on 13 and 14 so please help me out if you think any of these 3 are + please leave a comment and which day (12, 13, or 14) click on picture for bigger picture

I guess Im just in a bit of shock? Why you might ask. Well Ive never gotten a + this early ever its been one of many reasons why I cant get pg (luteal phase not long enough) and I keep saying it cant be this early Ive never gotten a + this early my eyes are deceiving me for sure. Ive taken my temp the past few days and this morning it rose quite a bit .52 to be exact so Im almost thinking I O yesterday which I guess would make me feel like more in a reality world that it cant be true that I O that early.

What do you girls think let me know...

Adoption Class 4

2009-05-29T06:43:00.001-07:00

We finished our fourth class last night which was on Behavior Management.

It was really eye opening to realize why some kids act out and it usually relates back to their past of course. Never really thought of it this way but sometimes when kids act out is when they need you the most just to be loved and held, not spanked and put into a corner and that can be very difficult of course.

In MS, they stated that they like to place kids within 50 miles of the birth mom which is kind of good and bad. Another thing that is kind of scary is going through the state they do not disclose the parents medical history so the parents could have a history of all types of stuff and we would never know which is just plain scary.

The trainers did state that they do get newborns but it is rare so either we will be waiting for a while or go with Bethany, we will see what happens its in Gods hands whatever happens.

Our next class on Tuesday is devoted almost entirely to adoption so I cant wait to see what we find out, hopefully more information.

Also, just wondering has anyone ever considered surrogacy? Not sure if we would go this route or not but it is interesting. Costs are about 10-15k and of course it would be partially or fully ours. If you know someone who has done it on either side or have any other info please share.

In other news, yesterday we found out some very disturbing news about my step grandfather which came as a huge shock. He is a deacon at the church him and my grandmother went to and was just a devote Christian guy or so we thought. Please say some prayers for my grandmother as she files for divorce over it all and picks up the pieces, so sad. Just goes to show you, you dont always know someone as well as you think you do.

Adoption Class 3

2009-05-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to our 3rd class on Adoption and have 3 more left to go to. Last night the topic of discussion was on Developmental Stages and went in heavily talking about abused chidren.

Its really sad to me that some grown adults can be so sick to sexually abuse a child. Some very alarming statistics that were shared
*1 out of every 3 girls are sexually abused
*1 out of every 5 boys are sexually abused
*75-95% of children living in foster care are sexually abused

These statistics to me were very alarming. We watched a video of a child who was sexually abused by her own father (how sad is that??) and then was placed into foster care after she told her teacher at school one day. So many of these kids never tell anyone so no one even knows, just so sad to hear and so sad some of these kids dont know a difference.

They were also telling the story of a kid who was 2 or 3 yrs old and pleasured himself until he bled. I just couldnt fathom at such a young age but these kids who are sexually abused do things like that. It just really breaks my hurt to even think about such a thing. It really made me also realize that adoption is the way if we can take just one kid out of bad situation like that then thats one less kid.

Tonight will be our 4th class, then we will have our 5th class next Tuesday which supposedly is dealing with adoption in great detail so Im looking forward to it. Then we have to go through CPR training, then home study then we will be done and ready to adopt..yeah!

In other news, Im really surprised how fast this cycle for me is going by guess Ive tried to take my mind off of it but already on day 11, where did the time go?! Ive also experienced something weird and not sure if anyone else has experienced if so please share but Im not taking Clomid this month but still seem to be experiencing some hot/cold flashes. I thought I was done with these but I guess not. Granted they are not nearly as bad but its just odd.

Nice Long Weekend!

2009-05-26T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day and hopefully everyone had the day off yesterday:)

Isaiah 30:18
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

Thought I would post this verse for today its so hard to wait so long but hopefully one day we will get our miracle that we have been waiting so long for!

We had a pretty good weekend in Nashville and made me miss it for sure (we lived there for 2 years) but I also know its nice to be closer to our family as well. I also remembered how terrible that 6 hr drive one way was as well.

I found out Saturday (the friend I was talking about a week or so ago) that our friends who had only really been TTC for one month got lucky and are now pg. Why cant everyone get lucky on their first month? While my friend is really a great friend I know its going to be super hard to be around her as well.

Other than that it was nice to just get away enjoy being together and not talking about babies for once. It seems like our conversations always turn towards babies, adopting or just something to do with them.

I did miss our little pup Brownie she stayed with my parents while we were away and got spoiled rotten like usual. I always joke around with my parents and say if you spoil Brownie this much how will you compare to a baby?! Of course there is no telling how bad they will spoil a grandchild one day:)

Today will be a busy day with trying to get all my stuff out of my old school, getting paperwork done for my new school and trying to get everything unpacked, washed from our trip!

Nashville Bound

2009-05-23T05:35:00.001-07:00

We are about to head out for Nashville for our 6th anniversary. Hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day. I really cant believe that tomorrow will mark 6 years, its gone by so quickly!

Adoption Class 2

2009-05-22T05:36:00.000-07:00

Class # 2 was regarding Seperation and Loss which I found was geared towards adopting older children because they usually are the ones that deal with this more than an infant which is what we want.

For all the newbies-my husband was adopted when he was very young so I think that is why he has always been more open to adoption than me. His mother and father both passed away when he was 7 & 8 but he was taken from his mother when he was young due to a boyfriend beating him almost to death. The guy doing the classes asked him to talk about his experience with adoption for the last class.

We also found out that we will have to do an additional class for CPR to make sure I guess we can perform such duties if we had to.

New Info to me...
-found out that once a parents parental rights are surrendered there is nothing that a parent can do to get them back
-some families who adopt want to have contact with the birthparent and allow visitations to see the child (not sure how I feel about this because to some kids it could bring back hurtful memories that their parent left them)
-in MS a parent has 72 hrs to reverse their decision regarding having their baby adopted
-Home study is done usually within 30 days (thats the timeframe they like to meet), home study takes about 2-3 hrs they stated because they have to inspect your home and also you have to fill out a ton more paperwork as well.
-stated that a child can be placed a day after the home study is completed which of course I must admit I turned to Chad and thought holy cow if all that happens and home study is completed by early July we could have a child in July thats not much time. Of course we would make it work and would love the child but that was just a wow moment I couldnt believe it would be that quick.

Again if anyone has questions or any comments please share.

Adoption Class 1

2009-05-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

What a day, what a day. School is officially over and done with until August...yeah! The life of a teacher...

Ill just try to touch on the highlights of our meeting last night but first must say how overwhelming it was. Ive never been given so much paperwork and we will have to have it all completed by the end of the class. The paperwork included things such as 5 letters of recommendation, how we are to discipline our kids (how can we really know this??), employment verification, our entire life history (our parents, relationships, what we remember good and bad about growing up and why). There are a few more but I cant seem to remember them all now.

The meeting lasted the entire 3 hrs pretty much I think we were let out about 5 min early. We covered so much material! I did find it interesting that our class consisted of 3 couples + us + 3 single women. The single women I kind of have a problem with (well 2 of them) because they are just looking to collect another welfare check and get another kid. This issue really just burns me up to no end but Ill stop there with it.

We watched two videos (one about adoption/fostering), another about the benefits of being a foster parent. The videos were very old and seemed way out of date I must admit but it did relay the message.

The part I did not care for about this meeting was it was geared heavily towards fostering which we are not interested in so to some extent the class was almost boring. Most of the people were not interested in fostering either so Im not sure why it was so heavily geared towards fostering. I walked away from the meeting not learning a ton about adoption but learning a good bit about fostering.

I did feel good about our chances though of adopting if the people that were in our class are what we are competing against. 2 of the 3 couples were a lot older than us, and the other was a bit older, then you have the 3 single women as well.

Things I learned
-telephone service (we have cell phones but the guy running the class said it has to be a land line, don't quite get this)
-it is highly recommended you only have one adoption application at a time
-you can not have even an infant stay in the same room as you, they must have their own room
-state will only allow you to have 5 kids (one couple has 4 kids and they wanted to adopt 2 and they said the max was 5)
-how can you lay out a specific plan for a child you do not have such as chores, money, etc.
Seems like there is some other things but cant think of it now.

Also figured out that the people running the class just seem so disorganized. After hearing stories though from the two that were doing the class it really made me realize why we are going through adoption, its so sad to hear and truly breaks my heart.

Thought this was interesting that for the state and adoption they place a parent to a child and at an agency its the reversed.

Hopefully tonight will be geared towards adoption and not fostering Im hoping. Last night was very frustrating to drive over an hour to hear about fostering practically for almost 3 hrs.

Any questions please ask away I know there are some things that I have left out, it was just so overwhelming to sit through that class and see everything and I know I cant remember everything.

Our next class is in less than 3 hrs, seems like this day has flown by

Anxious, Excited about the future....

2009-05-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to get my hair cut and Im not too fond of it at all, the girl that cuts my hair usually does a fantastic job but yesterday I guess she just had an off day. I asked her to cut it to my shoulder and she cut it right below my ear. Hair grows thank goodness because its just not me at all. Ill try to post a picture of it soon.

Tonight we start adoption classes Im anxious to get some more information about it. Each class is 3 hrs long so we should at least get a good bit of info. The classes are as following:
Wed, May 20-Teamwork and the Children Served
Thurs, May 21-Separation and Attachment

Wed, May 27-Developmental Stages
Thurs, May 28-Behavior Management

Tues, June 2-Permanent Connections

Hopefully we will get lots of information tonight Ive been quite anxious for this day now for well ever since I got the letter. I feel like we are so not in the know about all this stuff with the adoption and know very little.

Hair Style Dilemma

2009-05-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

Im going to get my haircut in a few hours and cant decide for the life of me which one would look good on me. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Dont want anything really drastic but do want it cut a bit Ive decided. Style 1, 2, 3, or 4?
Original ole me...

CD1- Why?

2009-05-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

Psalm 39:7
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

What a great reminder even on the first day of a new cycle. My hope is in him I just need to learn patience because it gets tougher and tougher each month.

As you can see from the title AF found me late yesterday and I keep asking the question why God? Why do we have to go through so much pain for a child? I honestly dont get it at all but sometimes things arent always so clear and here is a perfect example of it.

A few hours after I posted I went to the bathroom and AF was here in full bloom no denying it at all. I cried my eyes out I think it gets tougher and tougher each month for her to pay me a visit, especially this month. Im glad to have such a wonderful husband that wrapped his arms around me and said when God is ready for us to have a baby we will have one. Its tough but God will get us through it. I really dont know what I would do without him, hes truly wonderful!

Then after all this we went to watch the Office and if that wasnt a kick in the stomach I dont know what was. Pam & Jim are having a baby (seemed as though unexpected). If its so easy on TV why cant it be so easy in real life?! Of course that sent more tears streaming...

I think that we both have felt led to adopt for some time and this is the reassurance as much as it wasnt the reassurance we wanted though.

A few questions to answer up if anyone is curious
1. Will we do another IUI cycle? Not at this time we have shelled out so much $$ for doctors, procedures and nothing has happened. We are going to leave it in Gods hands and if its meant for us to have a baby we will but only in his will.

2. Will we ever do IVF? No, I just couldnt fathom doing this with as much $ as it costs with no guarantees.

3. Will we be doing Clomid this month? No, just need a break from it. The hot flashes and all that other fun stuff that makes me dread this medicine

4. Will I still continue to take the cabergoline (generic for dostinex)? Yes, want to make sure that my prolactin is still regulated. Dont really mind taking this medicine because I have really had no side effects of it.

5. Will I get my tubes checked to make sure there are no blockages? depends on if insurance will pay for it or not. If it will, probably so because we have already met our deductible for this year already due to all the expenses (really due to the MRI to check for the pituitary tumor)

6. Do you have any fears of adoption? yes, absolutely! My biggest fear with adoption is the thought of being chosen and then a birthmother changing her mind. I know that this is the way God is leading us so we will trust him.

If you have any other questions please let me know.

God has plans for us...

2009-05-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

2 Chronicles 20:12
O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. I have found numerous verses and have saved quite a few and will share as the days go along but this verse just really had great meaning today for some reason. Is it not true for those who have IF problems as we have that it is a great horde or something we dont want. We should set our eyes upon God and trust his great ways. Only God knows what to do, not us.

Today we went to lunch with some friends at church who have two young children, one whom is 5 mths old. As I sat there I honestly kept thinking how i wish we could just have a baby. I was then reminded that God has great things in store for us, we dont know what that is or when it will be but I have faith God will bring us out of this and hopefully with a little baby that will be worth the long wait whether it be naturally or through adoption.

Im really anxious for this week because it will tell a lot of things...whether we want to go through the state for adoption or Bethany (the classes we are going through are through the state), whether IUI worked or not. My dear sweet husband asked me yesterday so when can you test I hope this is it for us. I told him I really dont know when I want to test Im trying to wait it out as long as possible. He also couldnt believe that tomorrow will mark CD 28 which normally means AF is usually here by then or some sign of her.

Im trying not to read into signs or symptoms because I feel like Ive read into some in months past and really got my hopes up but anyway Ive been extremely nauseous for the past few days, I ended up having to get Sprite to help my stomach a little which helps some or at least for a little while, Ive been extremely tired and feel like always wanting to go to sleep but this could also happen if AF comes too because Im always so much more tired, & bad headaches. So not sure what all this really means well see sometime this week. Either if AF arrives or if I get BFP which if AF still hasnt come by Thursday Ill probably test but Im a little nervous to test as well so please send some prayers our way.

I was thinking this morning how busy this week is going to be..
Monday-season finale of 24, any other watchers out there?
Tuesday-getting my hair cut (still need to figure this out), Chads softball game
Wednesday-adoption class (3 hrs)
Thursday-adoption class (3 hrs), end of school, if AF hasnt arrived will test
Friday-pack for trip to nashville
Saturday, Sunday, Monday-heading to Nashville
Sunday-6 year anniversary

Hopefully this week will be a great week!

Picture

2009-05-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would drop off a picture taken from Mothers Day, I definitely feel the flub for sure. I think all my WG is all in my stomach

From l-r (me, brother-BJ-21, other brother-Austin-12, mom, grandmother)

Im also going to get my hair cut on Tuesday Im trying to decide whether to get it chopped off or a trim, any ideas? Remember Im in MS where the humidity is terrible! Usually I get it all chopped off during the summer but if I do that I want to find something cute

Big Week Ahead....

2009-05-15T07:07:00.001-07:00

TGIF!

Isnt everyone glad its almost the weekend?! This has been an incredibly long week for me with school (trying to finish up) and it seems like anything and everything else.

Next week will be a much better week I think. Wednesday we have our first adoption class, Thursday will be the second (two days in a row). The classes are 3 hrs long each so we will have 6 hrs behind us once those two are over with and have 3 left, 2 the following week, and then one the next. Im actually really looking forward to learning more information about adoption because I honestly dont know much at all. Thursday will also mark the last day of school as well.

I think Ive also decided to wait it out to test until Thursday. If AF still hasnt come by Thursday then I would feel pretty good about things since that would be CD 31 and depending on when I O, it would put me at about 12-16 DPO which I have honestly never made it past 9 DPO. So Thursday seems like it could mark a big day, well see.

Yesterday afternoon me, my mom and brother went out to the local flea market for our area that happens twice a year and they had so many cute clothes for baby and so many cute things for kids nurseries as well. It was kind of sad to know that I wotn be buying that stuff anytime soon. I was also shocked to see the sticker price on some of that stuff as well, yikes I could go buy some Polo stuff for as much as that stuff cost! My mom did say she thinks we will have a girl because she knows I would love a little girl. Honestly I would take either and be happy with either as well. Maybe one day Ill be able to go back there and get some of that cute stuff..one day...

Then last night hubby had a softball game and one of the guys that plays on the teams wife also comes to all the games (good to have someone to talk to!) Well last week another one of the wives asked both of us when we would be having a baby. Isnt this the famous line you absolutely hate?? Ive come to really dread this question. Well we both said that we were trying. I had no idea they were and was rather shocked but was kind of excited to have a close friend to talk about things with. Well last night she asked me a ton of questions about tracking your fertility, all these little things dealing with getting pg and I shared kind of our story too. She was saying that she is on day 38 and is trying to figure out if she was pg or just irregular periods. A part of me would be really excited for her to be pg but the other part of me would be a bit jealous that she could get pg after one month.

Tonight is graduation for all the seniors its kind of bitter sweet. Its amazing how these kids have grown and truly amazing to see the difference between even one year. It will be the last time I see some of them, of course some I will see at Mississippi State games since we are big MSU fans.

Hope you girls have a great weekend and a great Friday!

Adoption Places

2009-05-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

Thought this was rather interesting regarding Adoption places (thanks for the info on Adopthelp.com!)

Adopt Help
BBB rating: A+
Business Start Date: 8/15/1995
Couldnt find really anything wrong with it
Consumer ratings

Adoption Network (place that called yesterday-rude person!)
BBB rating: B-
Business Start Date: 7/7/2007 (hasnt even been in existence for 2 years!)
Numerous complaints about the company and some said their 4 mth average is not true either. They also had some that complained that the services were never granted and they could not get a refund.
Stay away from these people!
Consumer ratings

Bethany Christian Services
BBB Rating: B-
Business Start Date: does not list
No complaints or info regarding this one, interesting they received the same rating with no complains as Adoption Network
consumer ratings

If you want to look at any other company here is the link:

Top 20 agencies according to this site (not in any particular order)
1)Hopscotch Adoptions Inc
2)About A Child
3)Little Bit of Heaven Adoption Agency
4)Spence Chapin
5)Happy Families International Center
6)Aurora International Adoption
7)Catholic Social Services of North Carolina
8)Partners for Adoption
9)AAI Adoptions and Aid International
10)Adopt Help Law Center
11)Adoption Center of San Diego
12)All God's Children
13)Heart of Adoptions
14)New Horizons Adoption Agency
15)AAA Partners in Adoption
16)Adoption Access
17)Adoption Choices
18)Adoption Services Associates
19)Adoptions Plus
20)Alaska International Adoption

Ones listed with BBB that have an A+
1) A is 4 Adoption
2)A-W Friendship Homes, Inc.
3)AdoptHelp, Inc.
4)Adoption Consultants, Inc.
5)Adoptions Unlimited, Inc.
6)Independent Adoption Center

Several received A-, but saw a few that received D and F, yikes thats pretty scary to think of. Just thought I would share my findings it was really interesting to see these places that we maybe getting a child from, wish the state had this as well.

Adoption Network

2009-05-13T14:29:00.001-07:00

A while back we pretty much requested information from a bunch of adoption agencies just wanted to see different fees, what was offered and what the difference was.

Well I got a call back from a very rude and hateful woman from Adoption Network today by the name of Suzie. I called just seeing what they were all about and such. I kept asking her the question what is the fee, she could never answer my question and she got really offended I think because I asked how much it would cost. She then bothered to tell me that obviously she had someone else she had to speak with and if I wanted any further information I had to schedule a phone call "interview" if I wanted anymore information. This woman was just downright hateful, hateful might not be the word for it.

The last thing I said to her was I would not be interested in a company that could treat their customers with such disrespect as you have, she said fine and hung up.

Quite frankly Im in shock that an Adoption place could be so hateful. If anyone ever thinks of Adoption, do not use Adoption Network how rude she was.

Then in other news it seems like all this stuff with the RE doctor adds up so quickly, I have to pay another whopping amount due to our stupid no good insurance not covering anything and I just paid a good bit last week when I went. Not that we dont have the money in savings but I would like to keep some in there. When does the road end.

To say the least its been a tough afternoon...maybe tomorrow will be better!

Hope

2009-05-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

I love finding verses and have truly realized that verses help me through the tough times to remember that we are not alone God is with us each step of the way regardless if he gives us what he wants at the time we want or not. God has a perfect plan for us and I have to have faith that we will win this battle whether we adopt or God blesses us with a miracle with our blood. Ill be happy with each one but believe me its something Ive really had to pray about.

Why might you ask? I was always against adoption sure I thought people are great for adopting I never looked down on anyone who did but for me I was very selfish and told myself, husband and anyone around that I had to be pg, God could not possibly not let me have one of our own could he? Well God has really been speaking to both of us and its required a lot of prayers to even get me to fill out a application. Now Im excited but of course seem to have a guard up because I worry about well too many things but again well see what God has in store for us.

Yesterday when I got home I went to check the mail and found a newsletter from Stepping Stones. For anyone who is not familiar with it, its a organization through Bethany (Adoption service) that ministers to women who are suffering with infertility, here is the site for anyone interested. It really gave me hope to hear stories and just really an inspiration. Its a free service.

Tonight me and hubby went swimming with my family (2 brothers-21, & 12), mom, dad, and my brothers gf. I honestly cant say how rewarding that was, I forgot truly how much I love swimming and how much I needed that to relax take the stress out of everything (most importantly TTC-it can be so stressful!). Maybe I will remember that and go over to my parents and swim some more laps and get in really good shape and lose those last stubborn 30 lbs!

So anyway all this to say I truly feel so hopeful, hopefully the week to come will be ok. A week from today I can test but honestly think I will wait a while maybe till Thursday. Wednesday, and Thursday we have the adoption classes and I hope I learn some info about it because I honestly dont know much about the topic.

Last, I just realized that in only 5 days I have had 127 visitors, wow I feel so blessed to have so many amazing women reading along, thank you for your support it really does help! If I havent been to your blog can you please leave a comment and post your blog address and Ill come stop by!

Hope you girls are having a great week, Im finishing up with the last few days with my classes so it seems like it will be a partly busy rest of the week with finalizing all the final exams for all my classes, getting all grades in and then deep cleaning all that stuff. All I have to say though is May 21 is the last day of school I cant wait!

Bible Verses & Quotes

2009-05-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

James 4:2 and Mark 11:24

Yet you do not have because you do not ask. Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you recieve them, and you will have them.

2 Chronicles 20:12
O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

2 Chronicles 20:15
And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.

Deuteronomy 28:1
And if you faithfully obey the voice of the LORD your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth

Ephesians 1:4-6
4even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

Isaiah 30:1
Ah,stubborn children," declares the LORD, "who carry out a plan, but not mine,and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit,that they may add sin to sin;

Isaiah 30:18
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

Isaiah 33:2
O LORD, be gracious to us; we wait for you.Be our arm every morning,our salvation in the time of trouble.

Isaiah 40:31
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those who wait for him,to the soul who seeks him.

Mark 11:23
Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 19:26..great verse to remember we are not in control...
But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Matthew 21:21
And Jesus answered them, "Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' it will happen.

Matthew 21:22
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.

Micah 7:7
But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation;my God will hear me.

1 Peter 5:7
Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

Philippians 2:13
For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what He pleases.

Phil. 4:6-7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 25:2
my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage;wait for the LORD!

Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the LORD;he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,over the man who carries out evil devices!

Psalm 38:15
But for you, O LORD, do I wait;it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.

Psalm 39:7
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

Psalm 56:4
In God, whose word I praise,in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

Psalm 62:5
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,for my hope is from him.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,and in his word I hope

Romans 8:19
For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

Romans 8:23
And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Romans 12:12
Rejoice in hope,be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Quotes

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. John Lennon
Everything is clearer when you're in love. John Lennon
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. John Lennon
There's nothing you can know that isn't known. John Lennon
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. John Lennon
You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are! John Lennon
- If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. George Patton

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Walt Disney

God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. Mother Teresa

I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness. Mother Teresa

Have faith in God; God has faith in you. Edwin Louis Cole

Your faithfulness makes you trustworthy to God. Edwin Louis Cole

http://www.desiringgod.org/AboutUs/MonthlyNewsletter/2006_11/

Next Week

2009-05-11T10:05:00.000-07:00

This week has taken forever and then it seems like the days are getting longer and longer for the wait. The long wait to either see a BFN or BFP, what does God have in store for us? To either be parents or wait and yet another month go by waiting for Gods perfect plan for us to see when we will be parents, hopefully sooner rather than later. I know God has a perfect plan for us though no matter how long the wait maybe.

The nurse told me last week that if I dont get AF by May 19 to test to see if I get a BFP or BFN. May 19 would be CD 29 but not sure how many DPO due to my screwed up fertility monitor. I know I at least O but CD 19 which would be 10 DPO at the latest but could have been earlier too. The only reason I know this is because all my hot flashes I noticed were gone by CD 19 which is a definite giveaway that I O.

Of course I must admit I am absolutely terrified to test just to see the same thing Ive always seen BFN. Maybe I will see something differently but when you have seen a BFN so many times it seems as though you get used to the results and think you will always see the same thing.

For the pain in the left side-the only thing I can come up with is implamantation. Not sure if thats what it is but it sure was painful!

A great verse I found today and it helps to know that our plans even though its what we want, its not always what God has in store for us. How perfect of a verse is this?

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Mothers Day

2009-05-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Today is a wonderful celebration of all the Mothers of the world including my own mother and grandmother. It should be a big celebration for us but unfortunately its a day of remembering that we are still waiting on our miracle.

Last night I went out to get an additional little gift for my mom and when I checked out the lady said "Hope you have a wonderful Mothers day". My heart just sunk as I heard those words knowing that the only mother I am is to our cute little pomeranian.

Last night after returning from the store I got this very sharp pain in my lower left side, I was almost in tears it hurt so bad. Not sure exactly what this means but maybe its good. Its a pain Ive never had through the months of TTC so maybe its a sign in the right direction. If anyone has had the same pain or knows anything about it please share your information because Im clueless.

Happy Mothers day to all of you mothers who are celebrating with your blessings from the Lord. I hope that next year we will be able to celebrate as well on this truly wonderful day.

Here is a wonderful verse that Tiffany Pifer posted, how true is this?....1 Peter 5:7 Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.